Any of you struggling with similar issue? I miss having people around. I work from home and have a small child to take care of in the afternoon, and so every day… I’m feeling like in the circle. My husband is out as much as he can..
he told me he want freedom and loyalty, two things, but I don’t know if I want relationship when he is doing what he wants and I am doing everything for a family… it’s look like our paths started to part and I’m feeling a very lonely..
I do feel lonely at times , maybe joining a moms group , or another group that has similar interest ? Also what helps me when I feel lonely is watching a show or listening to music .
also maybe doing small things with your child like going for ice cream or going to a park could help with that loneliness .
thank you… yes, we are often out for a walk.. maybe I’m just jealous that my husband doesn’t care anymore to spend a quality time with us.. that’s why I am feeling more alone than before
I see , not having you husband there to spend time with you and your child is difficult . But I would say if he doesn’t want to spend time with you or his child it’s his loss, I know that’s hard, he is your husband but if he’s priotizing other things or people over you maybe it’s time to reconsider if staying in marriage where you feel alone and not appreciated is worth it .
I was doing everything for him, cooking, laundry, keeping house clean, he told me he will not notice this if I am counting for a reward, that he doesn’t need that…
wow I’m my eyes you are doing so much for you husband and and he is being unappreciative off your actions. He is does not need you , wow those word sting if he feel that way then maybe start think if you need him?
Yeah… that’s why my nerves are really in a bad shape recently.. everything I am doing or saying is wrong, the way I am taking care of our child, the way I speak to him, my humour, even the tone of my voice. The only good days are when he is out and back in the evening.. he is talking all the time about him wanting to have sex with others. Even if we agreed not to talk about this it’s look like he wants do this so badly that I am just obstacle on his way… he says that he thoughts that we have a different sense of morality. That he can be with me but he wants others. He can’t just see the way I want to live, have one stable relationship in every aspects
I understand , you may still have a lot of love for him but as I said if you feel you are growing apart , have different values , no longer feel appreciated and supported then it may be time to considered if staying is both best for you and your child.
do you think people changes values over time? He talks all the time that he doesn’t change.. but I feel like he is still a boy, that the family is not so attractive to him anymore… we bought a dog and he doesn’t want me to drive with him to take the dog but he wants to go with his friend, ten years younger than my husband
I do feel as you grow older your values change and the things you once valued when you were younger such as as priotizing peer opinions are not as important to you as you grow older such as spending time with your family . Also personally for me my values have changed since a couple years ago I value more having and doing experiences than having materialistic objects . I see, sometimes the idea of a wife and a family can be appealing at first but it’s a lot of work , a marriage and a child are time consuming, if you once priotized partying or the virtues of single life, with marriage and a child you have be willing to change and adapt, giving time to your partner and family .
Yeah… you said it right. I am feeling alone in this, but I am feeling more like my values grow stronger and different also. I am more mature to have a family and home to take care of, small child with all his needs.. I need stable partner, strong partner, who will appreciate me and our family, who will build a future together. And now I have a boy who is too mentally young to listen to me and to meet our needs. His needs are the one that matter..
Loneliness... One of the hardest things any human being can be subjected to. We are creatures who run in packs in order to survive. I struggle a great, great deal with loneliness and not having someone I can reach out to. Loneliness has been by far the biggest mountain in my life I have ever had to climb. I have been through many things in life, good and bad, but I have learned that I am not a good fighter when it comes to loneliness. I wouldn't wish it on anyone in the world.
I hope you are feeling less lonely soon. Yes, I understand feeling lonely. I dont talk to people alot as I spend alot of time at home on my own. I struggle to know where to begin.
YOU ARE WORTH IT! Don’t ever feel less than and don’t ever let someone else make you feel less than. I’m not saying your partner is doing this but for some individuals when they know their partner is weak they feed off that and take advantage. One of the most important things I’ve learned w/dealing w/mental illness is you MUST have some short of a healthy support system! And if you can’t find that at home than that’s exactly why these types of sites exist! Is to help support you when no one else will. I know it’s extremely difficult to try to express yourself w/your husband but please think of this… if you don’t seek healthy support and help than how can you help your children.?? And I’m sure you’ve wonder “is it just me”…. But its not just you! A successful marriage takes 2; correct?! As well as a failed marriage takes 2 as well! You didn’t create this relationship alone and no matter what outcome happens, you didn’t come to a conclusion on your own either! Be strong. So many professionals will tell you to end toxic relationships of all kinds to help you succeed and become a healthy individual that can handle depression and anxiety. You can do this. With his help and even without his help. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
My situation is not quite the same as yours. I have been working from home since going back to in center hemodialysis. After working at a company every day with people I love, and we also had animals dog’s and cat’s in the office for ten years, I am extremely lonely. My cat died recently and my son got his own place. My husband passed back in 2004. I am tired most of the time from chronic kidney disease. I spend a lot of time with my son when we are both free but I find it hard getting back into the flow of life. My depression has not helped. Everyone’s advice is to get involved outside in the community, volunteer, church etc. which sounds like great ideas, I am just so tired all the time. I am working at getting more involved in community activities and trying to get back in the office part time. I wish I had some better advice. I am sorry about your husband and I hope things get better for you.
The concept of 'Working from home', came about during the COVID pandemic and is one of the worst concepts I have heard of. Whether we have a young child or not, we all need to interact with real people. To be in the company of others speaks far more than words over a telephone or computer. We need to see the actions of others, and the body language. There is also a certain discipline about getting up, getting ready to go out at a certain time in the morning, the journey to work can be fraught with hold-ups, but just saying a cheery 'good morning' to a fellow human being is a remarkable comfort. Is there no way you can have someone to watch your child while you go out to work. It may cost a bit, but so much better than a marriage break up. You don't say where you live, but in UK there are government incentives for childcare. Also you are both doing things for your family but just not together. Children also need the interaction of their peers - are there any local nurseries?
Your husband seems to be doing what so many people are doing following the pandemic, finding freedom from the restrictions we had no control over.
Since I retired during the first wave of the pandemic, I haven't been able to find anything to replace work. Now I'm lonely as I miss the company of others and the office banter.
Obviously, a different situation to yours but loneliness is still as intense.
I can understand how you feel. You need interaction with adults! That doesn't mean that you don't love your child, but you need to care for your well being in order to be there for her. Mothers' group are great because you can share your experience with women who are in similar situation as yourself.As for your husband, I think it is not fair to put all the responsibility of raising your child on you. Obviously, it has been a pattern with him. Will he be open for a couple's counceling? If not, perhaps you need to think about your future. That includes living with a man who puts his needs ahead of anyone else or how will you support yourself and your baby if you decide to leave (not sure that he will). In additon, you need to think how will your life look like should you decide to stay in the current situation: can you handle it for years to come? Will you get increasingly resentful or depressed?
I think you are at a crossroad.
Good luck! I hope you will find a solution that will make you content!
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