More lonely around people than when I... - Anxiety and Depre...

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More lonely around people than when I am alone

Sadmama profile image
17 Replies

Feeling lonely and totally unloved. It feels like I ruin everything for everyone else as much as for myself. No wonder no one wants to be around me.

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Sadmama profile image
Sadmama
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17 Replies
Sadmama profile image
Sadmama

I was just at my daughter’s wedding on Saturday. She was happy and that was great but I was on the sidelines alone and it seemed like I was not wanted or needed. I didn’t need to be the center but a goodbye when she left would have been nice. It had been a year since seeing her and it will be longer the next time due to time, distance and funds. It really hurt.

LoveBear profile image
LoveBear in reply to Sadmama

Oh I’m so sorry

in reply to Sadmama

Im so sorry too 💚💛🌻🌼🌷

in reply to Sadmama

Hi Sadmama ~I’m so sorry that your feelings are hurt - and for good reason. Sometimes are children can be so selfish!

I have lots of issues with my kids. So many and depressive that you don’t want to hear.

Keep your chin up or a good cry, whichever feels better.

Glad you have found this site. We’re all here for you and I especially feel your pain and sadness.

Funkyfaerie profile image
Funkyfaerie

I feel like that with family sometimes too.

Seeing ur conversations with lessthanalone, I see what happened at the wedding hurts u. I am sorry u are feeling like that especially with ur daughter. I don't know if this is going to help u but me and my mother did not have any relationship. I might have been wrong, she might have. I was raised by my grandmother and pretty much all my siblings and cousins. Our mothers were part time with us. When we were young, she would drop by and we would be extremely happy but when she left it was hurting. We were children, the only thing we needed was our mother, not grandmother. Not that we did not love our grandmo in fact we appreciate our grandmo for what she did when our mother was not there. What I am saying is that when there is no strong relationship with your parents in childhood, it never grows. Even when u see her and u try to be there, it is usually too late and it causes too much conflict and u end up not getting what a parents get from their child. I do not know ur story with ur daughter but if u were not available when she was young, it is hard when she is old bcz she is used to being without u. She loves u and all but it is hard, doable but hard. If ur story is not like mine, I think u should let her know how u feel and I believe anything is workable. Nevertheless, sorry for feeling alone.

SeekingPeace1 profile image
SeekingPeace1

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I also feel very lonely and unwanted. I have to constantly reach out to others - else I won't have anyone to talk to.

Sadmama profile image
Sadmama in reply to SeekingPeace1

I get that. When my world blew apart 5 years ago, I made my kids, who were already the center of my world, my whole life. My mom always made me feel like I had to work for her approval and I swore that my kids would always know that they were loved. It just hurts to be left behind. The experience made me see that I need to find a life for me. I just don’t know how to begin. I have no friends. There is a pandemic. It is so hard!

Roxylox55 profile image
Roxylox55 in reply to SeekingPeace1

I feel the same as you, as I posted to someone else, I live in Ireland, and found some online mental health support groups here. They organise some enjoyable activities. Offline though, I am afraid to reach out for fear of rejection.

froggymom88 profile image
froggymom88

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way, painful. I'm sure there was so much excitement for your daughter she may not have thought about how you were feeling. When I am feeling left out and not needed, I take some steps to put myself out there in a unobtrusive way. Maybe call her and tell how how beautiful she looked and what a nice time you had and be specific. Let the conversation revolve around her. Then keep in touch.

Roxylox55 profile image
Roxylox55

I am sorry you felt left out. I would too in that situation. It sounds like you have a good relationship with your family. I would agree with Frogmama88 that you should reach out to your daughter

No worries, this group is here for you. I understand, believe me when I say I prefer to be alone than with my sister which is the only family I have left. Have yourself a good cry and a cup of coffee when you can - that usually helps. Plus you have found this group of people that care and won’t judge you. Here is a hug👩‍🍼,

Sunnidayz1 profile image
Sunnidayz1

Hi. Thank u for sharing your true feelings. I understand how u feel. I used to feel the same way but what I realized and learned is we all go through situations that make us feel like blah! and we have the power to make changes within ourselves to be happy. So if you want to feel better do the work to be happy. You can do it. Ive been there and done that and Im so much happier bc of the changes. Much love,

Sunni❤

Itzallgood1 profile image
Itzallgood1

I feel you there. I feel lonely when I am that way.

Dragon3695 profile image
Dragon3695

I feel you too except it is a constant with me lately

Sadmama, I understand how you feel, my situation is much worse.

I had 1 son and I have been astranged from him for 9 years.

Being astranged was his idea.

Talk about being unloved or even cared about. I have lived by myself for 12 years, and I have to constantly reach out for friends.

There are no forever friends anymore when you get older.

I just do the best I can.

You can do the same thing.

Keep busy and reach out to people. Live your own life, but don't isolate yourself from your daughter. She will still be there for you. Give her space to live her own life. She is now a married adult woman.

Elizabeth830 profile image
Elizabeth830

I feel for you. I didn't realize true loneliness until my only son moved out five years ago. I didn't realize how much of a support he was to me. Now, I am realizing that my husband is not emotionally available. I am extremely lonely. I feel lonely in a room full of people. I had TMS treatments last year and now I want to go out and do fun things but I have no one to do them with. I never realized how lonely I was sitting home all the time. I used to like being alone and now I hate it. Being alone is just a reminder that I have no friends. How come some people have tons of friends and are always invited everywhere and then some of us struggle to make one friend. I am a very giving person but it seems the more I give the less some even bother to think of me.

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