Receiving Compliments

[Nothingnoted]

 I have really hard time receiving compliments it just goes is in one ear and goes out the other I find it really hard to believe good things about myself

[Hidden]

I'm the same. Even as a kid I remember feeling weird whenever someone threw a compliment my way. The really strange thing is that compliments could be for something I did or something I'm wearing, I still feel like I'm undeserving. Go figure

[Nothingnoted in reply to Hidden]

Me, too. Im 55 years old. I felt that way whole life.

[Raggedy-Ann]

When I was young I was taught humility, vanity was wrong, I am less than.. I am so quick to swat a compliment away. I feel embarrassed when someone says something complementary. It's crazy. I hear myself doing it and I stop and say thank you, or that was a kind thing to say. Then I try to wait a few minutes and return the compliment. It is mechanical for me as I fight my natural instinct to dismiss any kind words. It can be insulting to the other person if you turn away their words. It is hard for me. One time a few years ago I put together a bunch of family photos in a frame. My Mom thought I was vain for including a picture of myself. I did it because I am a part of the family, it was a nice picture where I was feeling happy. I left it in and years later I look at it and like it and am ashamed at the same time.

[Hidden in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

My mother was not the type of person to give compliments or use any type of positive reinforcement when my brother or I did good things. She was big on using words in order to embarrass us so I tend to believe that my inability to accept compliments came from childhood experiences. I always complimented my son whenever he did good things. Even when he was an adult in University I always used complimentary comments. He doesn't seem to have the same issues I have. By the way, I don't think it was vain of you to include yourself in family photographs

[Nothingnoted in reply to Hidden]

i am so glad your caring, loving parent like. Another a lot of kids out there that don't break the trend of what their parents did to them and it continues on to their their kids and I'm glad you broke the mold on that and the trend

[Hidden in reply to Nothingnoted]

Funny you mentioned that. In 1995 when my son was born, I remember holding him in my arms for the first time and quietly making two promises as I looked down to him. The first, no matter what happens between your mom and I, I will never abandon you. And the second, no way will I ever treat you like my mother treated me. I decided then and there that I would do whatever it took to break the cycle. Or as you put it, the mold. Ironically he and I have not spoken in over 3 years..... But that's not his fault

[Nothingnoted in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

Hi Raggedy. You shouldnt feel bad about having a picture of yourself especially. I do the same thing about returning compliments. I don't know what to say and if I offer if I give someone something and then try to give me something back I usually say oh you don't have to but thank you anyways I listen to '70s music all the time because that was when I was happier when my parents were alive but also it makes me cry a lot but I love listening to 70s music for some reason I guess I mean Trigger warning even though that I was molested during that time I still have my parents around me because it's because I didn't have to worry too much about stuff but I blocked out the years I was molested but it gets so hard sometimes but I know there's a reason why we're here but yeah I have a hard time taking compliments and if I hear something good about myself like you know she's pretty or something like that I don't accept it I just feel ugly on the inside and outside now I feel a lot of hate around me for loving people

[Raggedy-Ann in reply to Nothingnoted]

I dig 70's music too. I feel lucky to have been a kid in the 1970's. We had a lot of freedom, playing outside all day and came home dirty and tired but happy. I remember riding in the back of my dad's pickup, playing on the playground while the movie showed at the drive- in. I loved the swings, could swing for hours. I love the lingo like fox or foxy, far out, right on.... I remember mooning people, there were streakers, hippies, and squares. I was in love with Mick Jagger while my friends liked Scott Baio. Oh gawd, remember dead skunk in the middle of the road? Skate city. Tapestry- I know every song by heart.

[Nothingnoted in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

I used to on my dads 1960 ford pickup. They usefd to have little stepping stool on the outside of the truck I loved the park swings a lot Everytime i here Sumner Breeze by Seals and Crofts and Rikki Dont lose that number by Steely Dan Im always in tears. Seventys are my favorite decade for music I remembered drive ins too. My oldest brother still says "Hey Turkey" he used to Disco Dance a lot. Liked watching Beverly Hillbilly with Buddy Ebsen

[Nothingnoted in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

I still play with stuffed animals, Snoopy and toys. My sister usually tells me to grow up. I have no children. i carry my Snoopy stuffed animal with me comfort

[Raggedy-Ann in reply to Nothingnoted]

I loved the wooden house people (little people) and light bright, weebles, board games like candy land and Sorry. Now I have my lovely little dogs to keep me feeling loved and safe.

[Nothingnoted in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

Hi Raggedy, how are you doing? I really like the weeble wobbles i look for them sometimes at the thrift shops . Do you have a Raggedy Ann doll at home? I love board games like checkers to. But i dont have anyone to play with. I had spinal meningitis when i was one and a half. After i became sick i was unable to walk or talk until i was 5 years old. M.j y dad used to buy me toys and dolls to try to make me talk or walk. Im the yougest out of 10. Five boys and five girls. My dad was 57 when i was born i did not have much time with him he passed away when i was 20. I lost my mom when i was 36 Im sorry Im talking too much, Thank you for listening, Love and hugs, your pal, Gigi🥰🤗

[Raggedy-Ann in reply to Nothingnoted]

Good morning Gigi. I am fair to partly cloudy. Wow the youngest of 10! My mom was amazing raising 4 kids. She is the oldest of 7 and often left to raise her siblings. When I graduated from high school she gave me a suitcase. She had spent her life taking care of other people and she was done. I stayed with my dad for a little while when I started going to college. My mom changed over the years becoming more and more critical. Now she doesn't hold back at all. It's. particularly hurtful when a parent no matter what age, criticizes you. We all tend to want approval from our parents. "oh are you wearing that? Do you need to borrow a hair brush? So, what is the plan for your hair?" How is your diet going? Are you sure you want to eat that? ..... I do have a Raggedy Ann, my mom made her for me when I was little. She made me a matching dress. I took her everywhere. A neighbor's dog tore her nose off and one foot. I sewed her leg back on. She has a heard on her chest where my mom embroidered a heart that says I Love you.

[Nothingnoted in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

I know that must have been hard when your mom did that. Im so glad you had your dad. Its really hard when a parent changes drastically like that. I thought that was sweet of your mom making ou a Raggedy Ann doll. I will always be here for you. Sending you warm hugs and sunny smiles🤗🤗💕💕💕💫 Your friend, Gg🥰

[fauxartist]

Part of our healing process begins with these small steps of learning to know we deserve to be happy and to be loved. As kids, many of us are brainwashed to believe we don't deserve to be loved, and are worthless... this kind of negative programming carries over into our adult lives. Depression exacerbates these kinds of mental injury, damages our self-worth and self-esteem. None of that kind of cruelty on a child is justified, as kids, we don't deserve that, it's not our fault, and we didn't do anything to deserve it.

[Nothingnoted]

Thats so true. Thank you. Sending you hugs🤗🤗🤗🤗

[Call_me_anything]

When someone compliments me, I remember that moment for the rest of my life 😅

[Nothingnoted in reply to Call_me_anything]

I wish i did i cant accept anything good comments toward it always going out one ear

[Hidden]

It deponds . i don't like when a person is very old to me and did compliments . i find that more werid . other times is deponds again .