loathing myself

[karoava]

Hi, I have this destructive thoughts that I’m the one to blame that I’m pathetic, not good enough… that all is my fault. My husband told me that I want him dead, that I’m responsible for all of what happens. That I don’t respect his feelings.. that I made him do it house, son.. all that I wanted… and now he is unhappy…

[Roxylox]

That man is abusing you emotionally. You are a good person. You are totally the one who is being badly treated. Don't listen to him.

[Hidden]

probably a people pleasure and its devistating when we can make outhers happy ........boy can i relate...........but its also impossble to please some people........not ur fault.........bet u busted ur back to please and make them happy and and and andand ...not ur fault......not ur fault not uf fault not ur fault...........

gentle fllowers

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

time someone was taking care of mom........sounds like some major mom time to me.........

[karoava]

he told me that I have to be careful because he is losing his patient for me… I had to say sorry to him that I’m mental. He told me that I’m fucked up and should be hospitalized.. and I started to think that indeed I’m not healthy, mental, strange and that No one could ever be with me beside him

[Midori in reply to karoava]

No, He is really laying it on thick. I had an abuser as a husband, and this was typical of his tricks to mentally beat me down and make me totally subservient. He was also physically abusive and I have the fractures to prove it.

If you can, get your self and your child to a womans' refuge for your own safety, and DON'T tell him where you are.

You need help and advice from someone local to you who can be trusted not to tell your husband where you are, (like a doctor, nurse or social worker). Your child may also be in danger from him, he will be seeing all that your husband is doing, and growing up thinking this is right, It isn't.

[Hidden]

Sounds like you're in a position similar to what I was in a few years ago. As I read your post I suddenly remembered something that my ex-wife and I were told by the judge presiding over our divorce..... "You were both sitting on a powder keg and you both continue to add gunpowder to it until it exploded". I was angry when I heard those words, I was angry because I knew it was true. We both contributed to our problems but neither one of us did anything in order to help the marriage. I'm not suggesting this applies to you and your husband, but for some reason those words flashed in my mind with your post. Feel better my friend, I understand completely how difficult this is

[karoava]

thank you all… I think I had to start look after myself more to be a woman I want to be, not just „his wife” … he is so logical with me and started treating me like I am a child who can’t think on its own… he also told me that I can’t try to blame him for my healths problem because I just want him to feel bad about me and this way I want him to feel sorry for me and it’s pathetic… but none of those was my intention… I’m always nervous and emotional when talking with him… he is making fun of me and my problems…

[Midori]

It isn't your fault at all, Your husband is using typical Abusive mind tricks on you. You are being abused by him, mentally.

Cheers, Midori