I feel pathetic

[Broken327]

recently broke up with my narcissistic boyfriend. Now I'm dealing with extreme loneliness. I've tried to reach out to friends. I feel unwanted. I feel so lost losing my bestfriend but i had to draw the line.

[Broken327]

I guess i just need someone to talk too

[compasnet in reply to Broken327]

reach out anytime.

[Roxylox]

You were right to give up your boyfriend if he was narcissistic. Many of us on here are lonely to some degree. Feel free to vent

[Broken327 in reply to Roxylox]

I know it is a good thing. Im just at a loss at meeting new people. I don't wish to hang out at the bar. There's no social groups that I have found yet. Im still looking for meaningful connections.

[Roxylox in reply to Broken327]

That's a tricky one. What about support groups on Zoom. I am joined one, but I am in Ireland.

[Hidden]

Hi my darling it’s not easy! I’ve been where you are and it’s beyond terrible! There’s definitely life after men but it’s just getting to know who you are as a person after your experience! It takes time. Try to do or join things that will help you meet nice like minded people. What about a walking group if you’re able? Walking is a great way to help lift your mood. If you can get a chat with people while doing that it’s a win win situation. Or maybe a gym or art class? Just something to help redirect your train of thought. Feeling lonely is a terrible situation to be in. There will be new friends out there for you to meet somewhere. I joined a walking group and volunteered some of my free time searching for lost dogs. I met so many nice people while doing that and gained some really nice friends doing that! Sending you the biggest of cuddles and all my love 🙏🏻🍀❤️😘xx

[PNIAuthor60]

I think it would be important to get some counseling for yourself, help in mourning/grieving the loss of your relationship for whatever reason.

I echo the wisdom of ratlegs giving yourself a chance to get to know yourself and what you have learned from this relationship.

I applaud your insight into knowing that hanging out at the bar would not be recommended or good for your health and well-being.

Do you have a church family?

I am sorry to hear that you are struggling in such a profound way. I do hope you find a community of people to support you through this experience.

[Broken327 in reply to PNIAuthor60]

im using all the resources available to me right now. On new meds. No church family.

[PNIAuthor60 in reply to Broken327]

Ok, good to know that you are using resources available to you right now (hope our community here is among those resources) and on new meds. I am keeping you in my prayers.

[Broken327 in reply to PNIAuthor60]

my community has very little for loners like me, but i do have a therapist and a psychiatrist. So there's that.

[PNIAuthor60 in reply to Broken327]

Ok and you have all of us here, too!

[Snoflake]

Pick one thing that you want to do just for you not anyone else. It could be working out, art, books or just sitting outside and drinking tea. Once you find just one thing make a habit out of it. Then add another habit or feel good on top of that one. Start changing one habit at a time until you see and feel a difference then KEEP GOING~! KEEP GOING JUST FOR YOU!

[compasnet]

Broken327, I empathize with feeling lonely. 😭. Yukk. It's horrible. and for me, even scary .....like "OMG, what if I'm alone for the rest of my life? Why did I leave her? Sure, she's selfish, won't stop drinking, go to treatment or AA, is unfUthful,, but "Somebody is better than nobody", etc., etc., etc. and think about going back, but I tried that, but ( at least in my case), it didn't work! The "good news" is that you're NOT alone. 🙏. YOU'VE got a community filled with supportive and caring friends here on HU! ...just reach out...ANYTIME! 🙏

[Broken327 in reply to compasnet]

mine was unfaithful and blamed me for not being understanding and started a relationship with another girl. I told her who I was, she said sorry i didn't know. He said i ruined his life and to never speak to him again. I gave him everything and i just get dumped on. I know I didn't deserve it but the loneliness is very unbearable.

[compasnet in reply to Broken327]

OMG, Broken327, I'm SO sorry.😭. In my case it was that she wouldn't stop drinking, go to treatment or AA, blamed me for HER drinking (even though I offered to do anything/everything to help her get clean and healthy, went to clubs with "friends", got drunk, did anything/everything 😭, and I continued to accept it and get dumped on😭. Feeling lonely is NOT a nice feeling. 😭. I wish there was but there's no "quick fix"😭 for loneliness. ...certainly not for me.😭. ...but I'm not giving up...like reaching out/chatting here with very different kind of people who are actually caring, compassionate, sensitive, and not blaming unreservedly! If there's anything I can do, I'm here. ..

happy to chat anytime.

[Broken327 in reply to compasnet]

I am so sorry, i had a friend cut me off because he doesn't see an issue with his drinking. 24 beers a day, his life is a mess. And he hurt me by not only getting mutual friends to block me. Why because I care. I know how bad that hurts. Im definitely open to chat.

[compasnet in reply to Broken327]

...been there done that 😭. YOU definitely sound like you care, Broken327 🥱 ...maybe too much?😭 I'm literally at the point where Is m experiencing,compassion fatigue 😭. I don't imagine YOUR and my user names would have anytime to do with what we've BOTH been/are going through???!!! God bless you Broken327 🙏. Available to chat anytime. 🙏

[Midori]

Not your fault. Don't blame yourself, if you can, get outside each day for awhile.

When you feel a little better, call and ask your local council or community services about Volunteering for something. It will get you out and you will meet new people who don't know about what has gone on.

Another possibility, and one I use quite a lot is to go to a coffee shop and sit, maybe have a book with me at first. It gets you back into the general walk of life without committing to anything, while you are still emotionally fragile. I love to people watch.

Cheers, Midori

[Broken327]

thank you, i am seeking counseling and im on new meds. Hopefully I'll feel better eventually.

[Diamond99]

I am here for you I know it’s not easy even I feel like I bug my friends when I need them a bit more than other times you can message me anytime or if you want a new friend I am here for you too

[Broken327 in reply to Diamond99]

my friends are completely annoyed with me. Thank you diamond99 i definitely need a friend right now.

[Diamond99 in reply to Broken327]

maybe we can message and talk I tried to message you on your page but it’s not working if you want message me on my page privately and we can text

[Hidden]

Come on anytime and chat with us, we are here for you.

[poppyb62]

the community is here to help each other xx

[Naheeda03]

so sorry you went through this but in the long run this will be good for you. It doesn’t make it easy though.

I’m an introvert who doesn’t go out to pubs and I don’t drink at all. And I found it hard making friends but you do have to try and put the effort in to reap the rewards. Try platonic friend apps there’s lots for free including Bumble BFF I’ve met a few likeminded women on there who are in the same shoes as me. You’ll be surprised at how common this is.

Free platonic apps for friends, volunteer for a local event or charity , Meetup.com, book groups do events monthly some even fortnightly, craft groups, walking and coffee groups, choir, sports club, yoga or meditation, free anxiety and wellness support groups.

There’s tons of stuff out there but like I see you need to think of what do you like and what you can fit in your schedule. There’s way more than you think out there and all these are great places to make long term friends with people in similar situations.