So, I just started school this year. It took me 5 years to go back to education and it has been overwhelming. I tend to get anxious whenever we're presenting in class and I get so nervous to the point that my voice is shaking and my hands are sweaty and I feel like I'm out of breath. It has been going on for a while and I get so upset on myself every time I mess up. I just don't know why this keeps happening.
I want to be more confident.
I just don't know where or how to start....
Thank you.
Hi and welcome to this community! We are here to support each other in any way we can. Maybe you can make a list of affirmations and say them to yourself every day. You might not believe them at first, but if you keep repeating them every day there's a good chance you'll start believing them.
Adele was so nervous she barfed on stage. Adele... who isn't afraid to cry and wear no makeup. Totally not uncommon. You can try some tricks like looking at the back of the room or using notes to focus your hands (I like mind maps). There are lots of other tips and tricks out there.
You can also be proud of yourself. Going back to school is a major accomplishment that says something great about your drive and character. A lot of people leave school and never come back. That said it takes time to get used to a new routine and way of doing things. I had to study for a test after 20 years this year and it was freaking hard! I think you will be okay with patience.
First how great that you have continued your education! How brave that is. You rock.
I read that the fear of public speaking is held in greater numbers than the fear of death. So you being anxious is not unusual.
I can suggest a few things:
First and most importantly: be kind to yourself. You are not a professional orator. This is not what you want to do for a living and no one expects a movie quality single take Steven Spielberg level presentation. You are providing some talking points to other students. It’s not the U.N.
However,
Know your material inside and out. Practice your presentation in the car in the shower on the couch….everywhere! Become as fluent as possible. Muscle memory works mentally too.
Be realistic. Will this go perfectly? No. But the world won’t end. No one is gonna throw a chair at you. You won’t burst into flames or turn into a cartoon character.
Accept that you are nervous. Don’t fight the fact that you feel this way. 95% of the others are just as freaked. You are really stressing yourself out more than needed and the anxiety is honestly a bigger bear than being in front of the group.
Do some deep breathing exercises while you wait. Review your notes. Then put a smile on your face and step up. If you stumble on words or get lost (I always do) just say excuse me, give a smile, check your notes to refocus and jump back in. Keep rolling. Just keep going.
A presentation is nothing to the challenges you have conquered in your life. I’m sure you could easily come up with five things that were bigger than a discussion of the social implications of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. Give yourself some respect for your achievements. You are much stronger than you are giving yourself credit for.
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Hi fairyxx, welcome HU. Thank you for sharing. First I want to say congratulations and good for you for going back to school. That is a big step. Speaking in front of people can be nerve racking for most people. Before speaking doing a breathing exercise and a buidling up yourself exercise will help. Too often we have self-defeating thoughts and self-talk and that only tears down and makes matters worse. Instead saying uplifting things before you speak will really help.
Here are two techniques that help me:
1) The 557 breathing technique is take 5 deep breaths in while thinking good thoughts about yourself like I am confident, I am smart, I am ready to speak and then hold the breaths for the count of 7 focusing on those words about yourself, then let out the breath slowly for 5 seconds letting go of any anxious, self-defeating, unhealthy thoughts. I do this one to three times a sitting.
2)Emotional Freedom Tapping - bit.ly/3AVYNiX You use pressure points to tap on those points while you repeat positive uplifting things to yourself.)
I will be praying for you. Feel free to pm me if you'd like to chat. Hugs and God Bless
How are you doing? I have been praying for you. Hugs
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