Telling my parents I have CEN

[lola568]

I am currently trying to heal from childhood emotional neglect while living with my parents. so i decided to tell my mum last weekend. She was sorry and it was emotional. I couldn't stop crying. She said she would have a look at the resources I've been getting help from to better understand and she did go through a few videos. I am also listening to the audio version of Running on empty by Jonice Webb and I also had to buy an ebook version for her to read bc she's not a fan of audiobooks I guess. She hasn't given me any feedback and I doubt that she's even started to read the book. I felt myself fading back into the woodwork just hours after sharing what I've been going through and now I feel crushed that after it took so much to open up, I'm being neglected all over again. Should I ask her again to read the book or should I just expect nothing from her. I feel like I'm really spiralling. I have no friends and noone to talk to. My dad on the other hand is completely aloof. He gets exonerated from dealing with things bc he's never been around. All my life he's always been working and we only greet each other in the morning and evening.

[Dot_]

Hi Lola568, I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. It's difficult when you voice out how you feel and don't see the progress who had hoped for or expected. But think, there is such a great victory in knowing you were even able to bring this issue out after so many years of feeling that way. It's scary to voice how you feel and you are brave for that. Perhaps your mom isn't sure what to do with the resources and hopes it'll go away. Maybe you could bring it up again and recommend she read the book, or even participate in counseling. I'm sure they care for you, but sometimes we have to fight to make ourselves be known, even in times qhe. We shouldn't have to. But if you don't stick up for yourself, who will?

You can do it. Sending the most positive of vibes!

[lola568 in reply to Dot_]

thanks so much. I appreciate your kind words. i think my mums response has improved but my dad is just either unaware or who knows what he thinks. My mum has always been the middleman between us and our dad so i don't even know if she told him. I'm just always wondering if my dad is less enthusiastic towards me because he's been told I have CEN. When he is enthusiastic, I wonder if he's trying to compensate for it. But him saying nothing also makes me wonder if he was told, and if he even cares if that's the case. Or if he knows and just doesn't know what to do. Its not easy but I'm getting better every day

[RemySue]

I'm proud of you for speaking up. I know the feeling of bringing things up and it being ignored. Just keep working on you. If you get the chance to ask her about the book in a nonconfrontational way, do so.

[lola568 in reply to RemySue]

thanks so much. I noticed my mum only came around and took action about the book when she noticed i was spiralling again, barely getting out of bed or eating. she came around and i think she's making an effort.

[omlovepeace]

Oh, jeeze, I can relate so much. My mother always said harshly, I never did that, I never said that, she would turn into a monster in her subconscious reactions, she would say the meanest things that nobody ever said to me throughout most of my adult life, I'm 51 now and I just became aware of the fact that I was still being abused and abandoned all the time, maybe 6 or 7 years ago.and only in the last 6 months, I have forgiven her. I've meditated on love, healing, forgiveness, and freedom for the last 6 months. I got on a new ADHD medicine 5 months ago, that controls all of my usual impulsive and reactive outbursts that get me in trouble all the time, particularly at work, I should have been fired multiple times.