I have just recently moved back to my home country from a 4-month trip in America. I had a difficult experience in the US and though I originally planned to live there for a year I decided to cut it short and I got a pretty urgent flight home to get out the stressful environment that I was living in. Up to this time I was recovering from some severe experiences of anxiety and I can say that I am still getting better and learning more about myself as time goes on. Right now, I am living at home and taking it easy while I build my confidence up and work towards my future goals.
However, I was experiencing some symptoms of anxiety yesterday and I want to put down my thoughts in words to try and get some understanding and to see what you guys have to say.
Sometimes I think I forget that I have anxiety and how much it can influence my day-to-day life. I am a pretty active person, I am always doing things like getting outside and meeting people and working on things like writing, however, sometimes it feels like I am taking a step backward, and that I am not actually getting better because of the underlying control which the anxiety has in my life.
Yesterday evening I was trying to read a book but my heart was pounding in my chest and I could feel it in my neck and my face and legs. I did some journalling instead. After that, later at night, after speaking to a friend on video chat who is currently in the US I went to bed and it took me a long time to get to sleep. This hasn't happened for a while. Also, earlier that day I had met a guy I know from my town and I struggled to maintain conversation at times (as I usually experience) and tried not to slip into the usual thought patterns associated with my social anxiety. Also, I sold something from my home to these people through Facebook Marketplace and that was slightly stressful, but nothing major (I had to do some negotiating). I think it was a combination of all these experiences that got to me in the evening and come bedtime.
I find the whole thing confusing. I know that in order to get over social anxiety and increase my confidence and self-esteem I need to confront these situations including socialising with friends. However, it feels like sometimes it is doing more harm than good. Anyone have any thoughts? Thank you.
hopeless
Is it the right time for my for friends cat?
Mentally suffocating for a while .... loneliness.....social anxiety....also triggers my depression problems.....crying for a long time......
Just need a little help.
Suicidal for the first time 
