Hi all,
I have been wondering the last several months whether it's time for me to leave my relationship. We have been together for about 7 years now. He has a 14 year old daughter. We have big changes coming in the next few months and I feel like I'm on the precipice for a big decision. Our lease on our apartment is up in October and we plan on moving in with his mom (his dad passed late last year).
I have been unhappy for a long time and I feel emotionally and physically distant from my partner. We tend to argue often about small things and then it turns into big things and I tend to be depressed for several days after. I sometimes wonder if the things he says during arguments are truth or if he is gaslighting me or if I'm just going crazy. Basically, most arguments turn into him telling me what I am doing wrong with him accepting the blame/responsibility for an issue rarely.
I feel a lot of guilt when he asks me why I am in this relationship or if I love him and I either don't know what to say or say something vague because I don't feel love in that moment. In fact, I don't know if I feel love most of the time. Don't get me wrong, I have felt love for him and I would be very sad if he wasn't in my life, but I don't know that I am in love with him the same way I was when we first started dating.
He has said many times that if I'm unhappy, I can leave without judgement from him. The problem is, I don't believe him and I would feel a tremendous amount of guilt for leaving the relationship with his daughter (even though we struggle to get along a lot of the time). I do love them and I try my best to show it but I don't feel that love back which makes it hard to keep giving.
So, finally to the original question. When do you know it's time to leave a relationship. I wonder if I can eventually lead a happy life on my own but I'm so afraid that I won't be able to. I'm really afraid that I'll fail and eventually end it or I won't have any friends left or that I won't find love romantically or otherwise. I'm still in this relationship hoping that it will get better one day. That one day I might be worthy enough for him to want to marry me or accept me. How do you know when or if you should leave?
Any advice is helpful. Thanks.