Toxic family

[Bluesky6]

My family is so toxic. I’ve tried to keep my relationship with my dad and sister to a minimum. My sister has thrown me under the bus a few times in the past couple of weeks..or shall I say decades .. but anyway her last words were, don’t text me, you’re just like mom and you’re a source of stress for me. So i heeded the warning and backed away. I was ok with that and breathed a sigh of relief. This is just one very small scenario of all the grief I’ve dealt with over the years with her. Today my sister texted me, why are you ignoring me and then put a guilt trip on me. It’s left me feeling like garbage all day. I’m just trying to figure out if I’m such a source of stress for her.. why doesn’t she just leave well enough alone? Ugh.. I hate being stressed

[kenster1]

sorry to hear that got a toxic family myself.

[Hidden]

Family systems can be enmeshed. We all see things from different points of view.

[Blueruth]

That is so familiar but it was my cousin. She said the exact same thing at one point. I actually saved the text thread for awhile so I would know I wasn't crazy. In fact her mother told me I didn't stick around so it is on me (in summary). Except she STOPPED talking to ME! Now she half treats me well and half treats me like I am stupid. It is hard not to talk to them. I go back east and she asks me for dinner and it is like nothing happened. She has even offered vacation weeks. Very frustrating. You can't just "let it go" either. It isn't that simple.

[Loves22read]

Unfortunately sometimes you have to give yourself a break and throw that toxic relationship away for your own health. My husband had the same issue with his family. He just stopped replying to texts and stopped talking to them for like 2 years. Things finally turned around for him when HE realized not to take their sh- -.

You have to look out for yourself first. Everything else needs to come in second. If your toxic family is leaving you so distraught then step back and give yourself the power to overcome them.

Don’t let them play with your feelings like a yo-yo. Take control of your life. It’s hard, no one said it would be easy, but you can do it. Remember, take care of yourself first.

[Bluesky6 in reply to Loves22read]

You’re absolutely right. I just feel like the bad guy. My sister isn’t doing well , health wise , and I feel like it’s my responsibility to help her, since I live so close. But at the same time there is no need for her disrespect and being treated like trash. If she wants help, she needs to treat others like humans. So frustrating. My dad makes me feel guilty about it and says, she is lonely and sits and ruminates the same thoughts all day. So I guess In his book, she gets the green light to act as she pleases. So not cool or ok. He won’t even call her out on her obnoxious behavior. It’s wrong. She’s been like this since we were young. It’s not like her sickness made her this well. So complicated and exhausting. But I will definitely do what I need to do and take care of me and my family. Thanks for the reply.

[Lookingforhope20100]

My family is super toxic and they make my depression and anxiety a lot worse they always say if I need to be locked away because they can't handle me and my manic episodes.

[designguy]

Sorry you all are dealing with this but it helps to know I am not alone in dealing with toxic family members. It sucks and can cause us unwarranted pain and I think it is way more common than we realize as to how many estranged families there are in the world. Take care of yourselves.