MY JOURNEY

[tiara0001]

alright , I don't know from where should I start... I'm a person who loves myself the most , at the starting age of my life like 12 to 13 years when a child needs the most care and acceptance I had to move to my grandparents house leaving my parents side because their childrens were all busy in their life and there was no one to care for them and my grandparents had some health issues due to which they took me with them so that I can be there to help them at time when I myself needed help, still, I accepted the fact that I have to leave my parents side and live with my grandparents and do the housechores which was quite difficult for me but I adapted to this and congatulations to me like this my whole childhood got ruined for which I don't know whom to blame . After that years passed but my grandparents never treated me wholehertedly even if I did everything which i can do to help them.... and one week before I decided to shift back with my parents because my studies were not going well there so at the time when I was shifting I thought my grandparent's would be sad because I'm leavinng but, all my grand parents were worriyng about was who's gonna do the housechores so, we all came up with a solution that I will go there in the morning and at evening to do the chores ( because my parent's house is not too away from my grandparents house and my father loves them so there should be someone to help them even if they treated me badly ) but it wasn't as easy as i thought because the exam for which I'm preparing is not that easy you need at least 14 to 16 hours of study to crack it students from all over the country give this exam they go to famous cities only for preparation and only a few of them get selected but I can't even study calmly at home due to those burdening so called responsibilities and toghether with all those studies I have to go there and do the work too which is very difficult and with all those things going on, my parents don't understand my feelings that I get hurt too specially my father he expects me to crack the exam in first attempt and support his big brother and sister in law [my grandparent's] at the same time which is too pressurising but I stll am trying to do my best but what makes me more dissappointed is my parents never asking me weather I'm okay or not like I'm a human too I get sad I get emotional and the worst thing is if there's someone close to me and they said something mean to me unknowingly, I still took it to heart and don't know how to express my anger to them getting sad all by myself and not sharing it with other's sometimes it feels like I should end this life of mine but then I stop this thought thinking that I have to make this life of mine worth living and have to give other's a ray of hope too.... Right now I'm quite depressed because of all those stress of housework,exam,studies,lack of acceptance,my hardwork not getting recongnition,my father not understanding me and so on....

[randytho2]

Tiaria0001 I am sorry you must endure so much at your young age but think of things you have already dealt with and accomplished. Right now try your best to focus on your studies because that is the path to take you to a brighter life where YOU are in complete control and can make the decisions you want to do. You are not alone in your upbringing, many around the world had or have to be the caregivers when they are young instead of being cared for....this is sad but there is a way out... that is through study and school. Good luck and God Bless.

[tiara0001 in reply to randytho2]

trying to do so let's see what awaits for me in my near future , hope so it's not depression(just kidding) , by the way thanks a lot for your appreciating words because it feels good when someone tries to understand your situation without any judgement.

[Celeste55]

Tiara I am so sad for your “Cinderella” life of cleaning and caring and being put on the back burner of life. I relate a little. I married the first man I came across at the age of 18 to get out of the house and start my new life. that was not a good idea. It brought other problems. I can honestly say that I have been in therapy since my 20’s. I’ve had amazing help from them and still, to this day I go in for “checkups”. I’m 67 and have found so much peace. Find a good mentor, find a good therapist. God bless you and lead you with His light.

[tiara0001 in reply to Celeste55]

this advice of yours means a lot, thank you for your best wishes....