Hi, I have joined the group today as I am coming out of a bad year with my dad's cancer diagnosis and death. I tried to be strong but now that I am able to think a bit clearly today, I can see I became a different bad person. I hurt people and doubted their good intentions.
The start of trying to get better - I... - Anxiety and Depre...
The start of trying to get better - I hope!
How did you hurt people?
I used to have a good working relationship with my boss and I mentioned everything including about home and dad. It was noticed that I had a lot on at so the communications we had stopped and I lost that person who I could say a thought or fear to and I would be told "it's fine" or "don't worry about it" - it helped a lot as I would then let it go . It was not clear to me at the time on why this completely stopped and I went from thinking I had done something wrong to questioning every move. I was no longer polite and questioned actions. I was told it was for support but I lost that contact that I was sharing my fears with so my emails hurt. I regret that but it's too late and it's not a happy place anymore.
So do you not have a good relationship with your boss now?
The boss says he wants to support me and understands it has been a tough year. He spoke to me yesterday and asked if he can refer me to occupational health so I have another avenue where I can speak to someone and try to feel better. Apart from feeling alone with the omission of the communication, I don't think my work can be faulted. During the year, I have managed a new project and delivered more than expected. I have been nominated for awards and am highly respected by the clinical teams (I am a data analyst at a hospital). The issue is me, the person and how I handled myself over the year. A part of me thinks the referral is a good thing and I will get some help from it, another part of me wonders if it is the beginning of the end in this job. I like my job where I can make a difference to patients (indirectly).
I think 🤔 that they R being supportive. My mom died from pancreatic cancer and I attended a bereavement group for people who had lost loved ones to cancer. Especially, if U have not gone to a bereavement or other kind of support group, this could be very therapeutic 4 U. I’m here 4 U. Hugs oS
Hi, thank you to help clear my doubts. I'm thinking of the worst where they will use my mistakes to fire me and the occupational health referral is the first step. I just want to keep my head down and do a good job. The feelings I am going through are not helping me do this. I would never speak impolitely but the past year has made horrible. I became a person that I don't like and now live in fear that I may slip back.