1. Sadness-Comes and sticks around
2. Anxiousness-Comes and sticks around
3. Suicide-Comes and sticks around. Probably going to get its way, but no one would care.
4. Joyfulness-Comes and goes
5. Mental Sickness- Comes and stays
6. Happyness- Comes and Goes
7. Guiltiness for things I can't control-Comes and stays
8. Hopefullness- Comes and Goes before I can blink
Have you always felt like this or did it start suddenly?
I've felt like this for a while. I was admitted to the Cincinnati Children's hospital when I was 10 for suicide risk. It was the worst time of my life.
Did these feelibgs just suddenly come on you at age 10 or earlier or was there some sort of ugly traumatic event?
Well, I was taking into foster care when I was 7. I basically raised my siblings, so it was like a momma being seperated from her babies with no choice.
So being ripped out of the home and away from brothers/sisters. That would hurt. Do you know where they are now?
Yes and no. I know where 2 of them are, but I don't know where 1 of them is.
I recognize these feelings, especially when I'm at my most hopeless. Mental health is awful. It can't be touched it pointed to... It just hurts so much.
I'm also depressed and anxious to the point of despair... I have to remind myself that I did once feel joy and happiness (once on was well into my late 20s/early 30s.... Being young kinda sucks).
I have tobsliebe that I'll feel joy and happiness again. I think you will find it, too. Feel free to message me if you want to chat. It may feel like nobody cares, but somebody does.
If nobody else, I do. I don't know you, but you are just at the start of life. And, IMHO, you're at one of the hardest parts of it.
I know you can do it.
~neuroseeker
Thanks. Life has always sucked. And if it doesn't get any better, than Imma just quite trying, and just give up. I'll probably just laze around with myself when my grandparents die. Imma more than likely be on the streets.
Surrogate mother, Protector and Defender...Please seek help ...call the lines, Your life is worth livingI m praying for you.
Maybe I will. Let me think it through first, I don't want to be put in a horrible, wretched hospital.
do you feel joyful and sad at the same time or could it be they both come and go? Not sure why but it is easier to remember the sad times when you are sad. Maybe it is related to the extra muscles necessary to smile. Kind of a cruel trick.
Both at the same time, and 1 at a time. Yes, that trick is very cruel.
I understand your pain profoundly... My father was violent and abusive towards my mother. One day while I was in class the principal came and knocked on the door. He took me to a car where my eldest sister and mother were waiting. An uncle I rarely saw was driving. Without the slightest explanation or psychological preparation we were taken to an orphanage run by the mostly unkind Sisters of Charity and remained there for 1 year and then transferred to a foster care home where we were reunited with my 4 year year old sister. I became the Protector, Surrohýgggg
I'm sorry that happened. You didn't deseve it.
You didn't deserve any of the horrible things that happened to you either. I'm sending you big hugs and prayers. Please try and find a support group. It will help you. Your life is worth it. You are here for a reason.
Yeah, I was put here for a laugh. It's fine though. Maybe it's a good thing, for people to laugh at someone.
Why do you say you were put here for a laugh. Do you mean you are just joking with us. That would be cruel.
I’m kind of like crazy musical idiot chick that people like to mess with a lot of the time it seems. Hmmmm, we need something to cheer you up here. I’ve put this song on here before. PLEASE STAND BY……
Here’s Savage Garden, Crash and Burn. Hope it cheers you up or something. youtu.be/W60IPexop30
Yes it helped. TYSM!
Looks like there is no place to go for you.. but up! I think you are strong, and on your way up.
Try daily breathing exercises, I like the Wim Hof guided breathing exercises free on you tube. But they have others. I like daily cardio exercise to help burn off steam and produce endorphins. I love me an ice cold shower or bath . Nothing makes me feel so good! Cold water gets you out of your own head . A reset of the brain and nervous system. Famous actor Paul Newman used to stick his head and face in water with ice in it twice daily. And 2 million people are going in cold water daily now too.
I have a feeling you are very strong. And will persevere!
Aww...Thanks
Just don't want to feel so alone. 
I am in so much pain,so overwhelmed, scared, and just can't live like this anymore 
Are some days or times worse than others?
some days are easier than others 
There is so much beauty in the world.
