Social anxiety and speaking in class

[WriteMoveSpeak]

Any suggestions for speaking up in class? I have gotten my social anxiety under control in almost every other situation (not gone but manageable) but I just started back to school and speaking in class sends my anxiety through the roof. Then the anxiety bleeds into other aspects of school like “I’ll never get all this work done” and “Why am I even here? I can’t do this!” Classes are all online which seems like it would be easier, but it isn’t… it just makes it harder to connect 1-1 with people and feel like I have a friend in the class.

Thanks for any thoughts/suggestions!

[Kainan]

I would just say what you’re feeling. Online is less structured so I’d think it might be easier to bring something up. If it’s a question you have, bring it up. Other students may have the same question, but are shy to speak up. Professors always want more students to speak up especially in an online class

[Hidden]

I can totally relate to it!!!! Offline classes were much better and it was easier to interact in them as compared to online classes. Only advice i have is maybe you can write your questions in the chat. The teacher can read it there

[mvillarreal]

I find it helpful to reframe the negative thought tied to the fear. So let's say you're worried that, if you speak up in class, everyone will think your ideas are stupid (not trying to put words in your mouth; just for example). You can then challenge the thought by telling yourself, "Or they might not think my ideas are stupid and appreciate what I contribute. Even if they do decide to judge me negatively based on what I contribute, that says more about them than it does about me." Hopefully, reframing your thoughts will help you muster up some courage. If you still feel anxious even after reframing the thought, I also find that it can help to just acknowledge out loud how you're feeling; make a joke of it: "Okay, I feel really nervous speaking in class, even on Zoom, so I'll try to articulate this as best as I can without keeling over." Sometimes, that will get a laugh reaction out of people and lighten the mood a bit. That also makes it so you don't have to bear the burden alone; other people will understand your nervousness and will be on your side as they listen to your ideas. Hope that helps!

[WriteMoveSpeak in reply to mvillarreal]

Thanks, this helps!

[Blueruth]

You aren't alone! These are some tips from celebrities. It isn't a one size fits all. Adele is one:

"Adele has such bad stage fright that she once, “projectile-vomited on someone,” and, during another particularly bad case of nerves, “escaped out the fire exit,” rather than sing, reports Rolling Stone. How does she get over her nerves? She doesn’t—she just manages them: “I try to bust jokes…my nerves don’t really settle until I’m offstage.”

Though some of us may have trouble overcoming the physical symptoms of our stage fright, it can be controlled by laughing about it and generally managing your expectations. “I just think that nothing’s ever gone horrifically wrong,” Adele says. Keep your sense of humor, and you can conquer any stage."

bigspeak.com/managing-stage...

I haven't been in school for years but I have to study for certs sometimes and lately they are hard! One was a cohort of young grad students. I felt out of my league. The most recent one was for work and a fail would have been so embarrassing! I have had to hunt around for the right method. You see there are many methods to take notes. I landed on a combination of writing answers to questions. The act of writing and summarizing is a memory aid. Another one is mind mapping ideas which can be fun. I also like to put on my headphones without sound or find focus music. Either way the trick is to find a method that helps you immerse instead of focusing on external stuff. You are basically ruminating.

[WriteMoveSpeak in reply to Blueruth]

I like that idea - find something that helps to immerse instead of focusing on external stuff. Once my screen froze while I was talking and I couldn't see anyone. At first, it was very disorienting but then it felt liberating... to not see everyone's faces. Maybe I'll recreate that.

Had no idea Adele had such stage fright!

[Blueruth in reply to WriteMoveSpeak]

Somehow the knowledge she "projectile-vomited on someone" makes me like her even more! You can also imagine them with a funny mask on. That's an oldie but goodie.

[designguy]

Sounds like you are doing pretty well and understand what is going on with you. Just keep doing what you are doing by challenging yourself to speak up but make sure you acknowledge to yourself how well you are doing and try to be kind and compassionate to yourself. Also realize that the critical voice in your head is not real and try to just tune it out and not pay any attention to it. It's role was to protect but you no longer need protecting. For whatever reason, you have believed things about your self that aren't true. SA makes you also feel and think that everyone is paying close attention to you but the reality is they are not, they are caught up in their own world. To help yourself further get information about low-self-esteem and low-self-worth, typically people with SA suffer from it and need to address it and increase. There is a lot of books on it and youtube videos. I like the writing of Dr. Bernadette Sewell. Another really helpful skill is learning and practicing simple mindfulness to be able to let your thoughts flow through your mind and not attach to them it's also helpful for learning to be present in life.