wishing for better life and childhood

[blackcatsrule]

I wish my parents weren't my parents. They both have mental illness that impact their daily life. They are old like old! Like in their 70s. They had me late in their life. I'm in my twenties. I always had to accommodate my life around their disadvantages. They were always emotional unavailable and still is. my moms feels like a burden to us. She is but i dont want her to feel like that. Tonight, i gave my mom a bath. usually shut of my emotion. i know its big no-no but i want to help her. There is no one to help me. when i went to Behavioral intensive outpatient program, i felt cared and seen. Now i dont feel like i have a life. the only person whose there for me is my cat. My sister tries but its not what i need. Also she got her own kids. Here i am lonely and crying without no one. i'm sorry that this doesnt make sense. My birthday is coming up and i know it going to suck. I shouldn't like that but itis. there is tension between me and my friends who are my roommates. i dont want my birthday to suck

[TrustYourSoul]

It is very noble to have the privilege of being a caregiver. I will Never regret doing this for my mom and dad. Yes, it was hard, but in many countries, what I did, and what you are doing, is how it is, and how it should be. Don't be selfish about your birthday not being as "happy" as you might want it to be. Many people, old AND young, don't get the benefit of having another birthday. You have more ahead of you.

[tofler]

Hi, your post does make sense and I'm really sorry that you're feeling so lonely and upset and that there's tension between you and your roommates. It definitely isn't selfish to want to have a nice birthday. Unfortunately for many of us our birthdays can be very different to how we'd like them to be. I noticed that you've done a separate post about your birthday, so I'll try to add something there. Keep reaching out to us on here though, I think it makes a difference to know that we're not entirely alone when we're feeling low, even if the only people we can talk to about our true feelings are online friends.

[Brunny100 in reply to tofler]

Such a lovely message of support.

[b1b1b1]

There are a lot of people who are in their 70s on this site. They too are valued.

[HisDaughter]

I believe that it is admirable that you help your parents. There are some parents who have to take care of adult disabled children and many of them do it with lots of love even when it is hard work. We please God when we help others!

I am very sorry that life is sad and hard for you! I'd recommend that you meet with a counselor or a therapist if you are not doing that in the present. Loneliness seems to affect a lot of us and I know it is painful. But I know that we can always talk to God and tell Him how we feel.

Your birthday is a celebration of you and it is a special day. But some years we're not going to get to have a big or special celebration for our birthdays. I think it happens to almost everyone sometimes. Would it be possible to do something or get yourself something that makes you very happy?

You sound like a mature young adult and I am very glad you decided to reach out! I hope that God blesses you and guides you. I know that He loves you! I know that each of us matters to Him.

Sending you my best wishes and if your birthday is not great this year, I'd like to tell you that having the good qualities that you have is a big blessing. You are a blessing! You are a gift from God!

The birthday gift you're receiving (from God) is the gift of life! In spite of hardship and suffering, it is a blessing to be able to breathe and celebrate another year of being alive!