New here

[SunflowerVibes00]

So I’m kind of new to this. I’ve never reached out to other people with the same problems as me. I just want to feel not so alone. Life feels terrible a lot of them time and I have all of these suicidal thoughts and I don’t really understand why. I want to die so badly just so I can’t stop constantly thinking about it but I’m also too cowardly to do it and it’s very frustrating. I just want someone to relate to and talk to. I feel so alone and I hate bothering the people in my life about it because they’ve all heard it before and they can’t fix it.

[tofler]

Hello and welcome! It's great that you've signed-up, are giving this a try and are reaching out to other people. It sounds like your mental health is in a bad place at the moment and I bet there are lots of us on here who have been in that place as well. Talking to other people makes a difference (especially when they have lived experience of what we're going through) and I sometimes think that it can be easier talking to strangers when we're struggling than talking to family or friends about it. I hope that being on here will help you to feel less alone with your problems and worries. Things can and do get better, but it takes time (and some effort). Even small steps can make a difference though, especially these all start to add up over time.

[Hidden]

Hi and welcome to a supportive community! Wow, you have been through so much. You aren't cowardly at all for not going through with it. I used "I didn't have the guts to" to my psychiatrist and he said that's the wrong phrase. He said that I thankfully didn't go through with it.Thank you for not going through with it. You are worthy of living. I know it hurts, but it does get better. My psychiatrist likes to remind me that I've made it through hard times before. I'm sure you have too, so maybe you could look at it like that. You can also think of emotions like waves.

A couple questions:

are you actively suicidal? If so, I need you to talk to someone right away.

Can you identify what makes you think about suicide? Has something triggered you?

[AdamFCastillo31]

Hey, welcome. That's great you came here, to get some emotional help to improve your mental health so, as we are. People here share their thoughts/experiences to help others. I am sure you will not be feeling alone from now on.

[HisChild4ever]

I am very sorry that things are very hard and painful! And I am very glad you are alive and are reaching out! It's not easy to be in your place and I really wish you would feel much better.

In my opinion, cowardliness has nothing to do with not taking your life. It's the opposite! It takes a lot of courage to respect life when you really wish to die and it takes a lot of strength to not succumb to negative feelings.

Many people have taken their lives and I wish they had not been in so much pain.

There were years when I felt extremely depressed and dying seemed to me to be the best thing for my life. God is the One who has helped me and He is the One who has protected my life.

I know that loneliness is sad and painful too.

I would strongly recommend that you meet with a counselor or a therapist for help, if you are not doing that already.

Your life is very important and you are a very important person. There is help available and there are things we need to do to feel better.

You are a strong and brave human being and I really hope that God blesses you and guides you and speaks to you heart and gives you hope and happiness.