Intrusive thoughts

[1947treble]

I wrote a previous post but I was agitated and it came out really confusing. Every now and then I have problems with intrusive thoughts. It hasn't happened in a long while, or at least not as strongly. Right now I am really convinced that someone I'm close to is going to die, it usually revolves around who I've spent the most time with. I'm worried something will happen in my marriage to end it, even though we aren't having any problems. I have this wierd thought that a stranger will start some sort of fight with me and I'll hurt them, despite never being in a fight my whole life. When my cats go to sleep I wake them up because I'm afraid their dying. I don't really want to talk to anyone I know about it because they're really proud of how well I've been doing so I just have all this stuff secretly overwhelming me while I hide it and try to be my usual positive self. Not sure at all what I can do about this. It always passes but it can take anywhere between a few days to a month or a few months. I'm really obsessing and getting stuck in my head. Any suggestions?

[Jeff1943]

1947treble, first comes understanding. Anxiety disorder causes us to exaggerate all our fears including the tiniest of worries. It's because our nervous system has become over sensitised due to the effect of too much adrenaline and other anxiety hormones.So all the things you describe that are worrying you, someone close dying, a cat dying, you harming someone else, are small worries you normally wouldn't concern yourself with but magnified out of all proportion. Your nervous system and your mind's response are following a normal and well worn path for someone with anxiety disorder. (I for example always carry two satnavs in my car in case one stops working and leaves me lost. A most unlikely scenario but another example of how the anxious mind exaggerates small worries).

Second comes reassurance. You know in your heart of heart your cats are not going to die before their time. Neither is someone close to you going to an early grave. You are not going to attack and harm anybody. I give you my personal guarantee. Those things simply aren't going to happen. It's your anxious imagination working overtime. (Just as I'm never going to need that spare satnav even if I keep driving every day for the rest of my life).

But alas, understanding and reassurance alone are not going to stop irrational fears. In the battle between common sense and over sensitised nerves the latter are always going to win. So how do we regain our quiet mind and cause these irrational fears to yield?

Thirdly comes Acceptance. We must agree to coexist with these troublesome thoughts for as long as it takes. We must surrender to them for the time being. We must stop fighting them: this only causes more stress and strain and more anxiety hormones impacting on our nervous system. We must stop adding second fear to the flash of first fear when we think of one of those exaggerated possibilities. Just relax every muscle in your body and go with the flow.

You are like a rock on the shoreline: the waves come crashing down on you and rush past you. The wave recedes and comes again. But the rock endures.

This, then, is the way forward for all with exaggerated irrational fears. Understand. Reassurance. And Acceptance - for as long as it takes.

So come join the untold thousands hopefully travelling the yellow brick road to recovery. And regain the quiet mind which is your birthright.

[Rick1on1]

I plan to host online meetings for people like to talk anonymously about their situations. Check my profile for details.

[Hidden]

I'm so sorry to hear your struggling. I do the same thing at times. What helps me get out of the cycle is to challenge my negative thoughts. To take a moment to write down what I'm grateful for. Keeping my mind busy helps me too. One time a therapist once told me that we stay stuck in depression because we're afraid to let ourselves be happy again. When I heard this, it upset me, but the more I thought about it, I realized there is a lot of truth to it. Especially when a lot of bad things happen in a row. Sending you hugs 🤗 and prayers. Hope u feel better soon 💓💗💖

[1947treble]

These responses are really helpful, thank you. The thoughts are still pretty strong but I feel good that I was able to share it and get some insight and support. This all really helped!