Stuck in a rabbit hole

[JW621]

I’m feeling distant from everyone. Feeling alone and not fitting into society. Why is my depression and anxiety overwhelmIng me. Last few months I have been toxic to everyone around me. I have driven people away. I’m so passionate and willing to sacrifice myself. Why can’t I get it right. Why? Why do I feel this way. Why am I depressed all the time, even when I’m around people who cares for me and are enjoying our times. Why do I have to see things in the worst way. I get stuck and I waste the whole

Day dwelling. I know the basics. I know how to do it but my mind keeps slowing me down. How many people feel like this

[Roxylox]

I find I don't fit in either. In any comany l'm in, be it family or friends, my attention drifts away after a while. Seems to be only so long I can make an effort.

I would say my. demeanour makes people. uncomfortable.

Am really probably happiest at home

[CaptainCrunch]

I feel like this right now. It is a heavy struggle. I have been on meds for over a decade but recently got off and it all came back full force. I have done lots of therapy. So I KNOW this is all chemical BUT the thoughts and feelings are so hard to separate from the REAL ME.

I guess it is a bit of a blessing for me to sit in this mess again to practice recognizing all the horrible trauma and toxic shame I developed as a kid but it is extremely hard, lonely, scary, debilitating and I lose many times. But I am back on the meds and slowly getting it sorted out.

I am so sorry to hear how you are suffering. You are not alone in your struggle. Many people are suffering as you are. Hopefully you will find the support you are needing to continue to pull through this garbage.