I can't cope living at home but moving out scares me

[Against_the_current]

I'm now out to the mall with sis, she needed some things, and we went but i'm getting damn agoraphobic. I'm thinking about how i don't want to go back to university city and i already said i'm going, my volunteering is there, when i was scared by mom i said I will go. But now i don't want to go. I will bear her but i'm scared to go. It's a new city that makes me agoraphobic and i'm absolutely alone meanwhile having roommates and these roommates inviting people over triggering me. So much people and yet i'm so alone that i could starve and nobody would notice. And sometimes it's hard to take care of myself there. Getting food and so

Edit : I just got home and i'm scared to death of mom. She's already gone to sleep and stuff is dropped. I'm scared whether she lost her shit and got drunk while we were gone. Sis is gone till the morning, i'm was out for 4 hours and 39 minutes