How can I live smoke free?

[RickyShakaZulu]

I’m over 3 years smoke free. I’ve done all the work. I’m straight edge. I’m also not happy, I’m angry and terrible to be around. Nothing good has come from quitting. How do we not have this part figured out? Living smoke free should be the first thing laid out for a former smoker. Worst decision of my life!!! How can I be quit and still feel like that? Im sad and defeated to think smoke free people never thought about this part of the suit game.

[The_Color_Blue]

I hear your anger and frustration. I hear the strength and power behind your determination to quit and stay the course. I hear your desire for and efforts toward a better tomorrow, and the anguish that results from efforts not paying off in the way you expected. I understand that pain; the disappointment of a failed plan; a future imagined and never realized. I know that all too well.

But perhaps you could help me better understand the rest of your pain. Cigarettes cannot give you love, create, or mend relationships. They cannot bring you money, help you get a different job, aid in your promotion, or improve your professional standing. They cannot help you travel, give you children, or help you realize a passion. These things are the substance of life. What substantive things have changed since the time before you quit?

You've quit. You've reduced the risk of developing 12 different cancers (literally from acute myeloid leukemia to rectal cancer and many of the organs and muscles in between. You've reduced your risk of developing COPD, and preserved (as well as regained) your lung function. You've reduced your risk of respiratory infections, which is a significant benefit given the current pandemic (as it would improve prognosis as well as treatment outcomes). You've reduced your risk of death and cardiovascular disease (including coronary heart disease), reduced markers of inflammation and hypercoagulability. Your HDL-C level have improved, and you've reduced the development of subclinical atherosclerosis. You've reduced your risk of abdominal aortic aneurysm, atrial fibrillation, sudden cardiac death, heart failure, heart attack, venous thromboembolism, and peripheral arterial disease (PAD).

You say you're not healthier, but that is categorically untrue. Look how many things you've addressed in the last 3 years. The longer it's been since you quit, the more you will add to this list. It's remarkable how much you've improved your life, and while it may not seem readily apparent at the moment, it's possible you could have developed any number of the maladies listed above if you had chosen to continue smoking. You cannot say you are no better, because we don't know just how bad it could have been.

From the sound of it, you have complicating factors that affect your health and outlook. You mentioned taking pills and being dissatisfied with the number of pills and the results you've seen. You mentioned being unhappy with therapy. The extent to which you are able to find happiness and mental health sounds like it is due to these additional challenges - significantly more so than the presence of cigarettes in your life. Can you tell us more about what else you're dealing with? Many people on this site struggle with finding the right combination of meds and therapy. There is no one-size fits all, I'm afraid. But perhaps we could talk through some of it, and maybe others have insights about what has worked for them.

[RickyShakaZulu in reply to The_Color_Blue]

Talking about health and money means you don’t understand the lifestyle. Do you think people don’t know they are slowly Kipling themselves? They are waiting money on a slow death! The cigarette fills in what is missing. I’ve tried pills and therapy. Doesn’t work. You can’t say “ keep trying” . You think over 3+!years of endless trying isn’t enough? Maybe in 10 years I’ll be happy, maybe 35 years. I have zero positive outcomes after quitting. Only negative. I’m trying to find a way out but have found no answers.

[Marysblue]

Add up the money you saved in 3yrs.Besides health benefit.

[RickyShakaZulu in reply to Marysblue]

I averaged $12,000/Year on Cigarettes. Estimated $40,000 dollars. That’s the problem. Means nothing. I always knew it was unhealthy and expensive. I still did it. Now I use that number to justify wasting money on other bullshit I don’t need. As long as I spend under $11,999.99 a year. I’m technically saving money. People w we go waist money will always waste it.

[Blueruth]

What are you doing to move? Physically.

[Midori]

I appreciate your feelings, My parents were nightmares to live with when giving up, but they did get through it.

Do you have a replacement activity? (not food). Preferably something you do with your hands, like model building or woodcarving or metalwork, things that keep the brain and hands busy.

I was born with a very weak chest, and it was found that smoking and fumes from our house furnace were the culprits, so I spent most of my childhood either in my room reading or out in all weathers!

Cheers, Midori