Am I depressed or just having a bad day

I've had mild depression for a long time. Way before my official diagnosis. I've lived with this low and worthless feeling for so long, that it's become a natural part of who I am. So much so that I can't really tell where random low moods end and depression begins. I can't really predict if my low mood will end soon or if it will stick around and get worse and turn into a depressive episode. I'm overly sensitive emotionally as well as HSP. Sometimes I feel like I'm a fraud, and I'm not really depressed at all, and I'm somehow insulting those with depression worse than mine. I didn't have much emotional support growing up, so any coping strategies I've learned, I learned on my own. I do have a wonderful and supportive husband and he really tries. But he gets frustrated because he wants to "fix it" and there's no easy fix to it.

[The_Color_Blue]

Do you have a clinical diagnosis?

In your post, you discuss many things, but there is a risk in conflating them. First, clinical depression is a neurological condition that is characterized by an imbalance in brain chemistry. This is be "caused" by a number of things (from trauma to hormones, to other illness that exacerbate depressive conditions). In general, people suffering from clinical depression have lower levels of the "feel good" neurotransmitters in their system, and/or do not have the same receptivity to them, and/or have higher level of cortisol, etc. (Things are more complex than this, but this is a simplified overview).

Clinical depression is different than simply feeling depressed. We can feel depressed when we are sad, going through stress, or are having a bad day. This is situational depression. Here, our body is responding normally (in a healthy way) to a difficult situation. This is temporary and is not marked by an inability to the brain to experience joy.

You also speak of high emotional sensitivity and low self worth. These can be related to depression and anxiety (and often are so), but do not HAVE to be.

If you lacked proper support and nurturing in your childhood, it's very possible that your brain adapted in ways that are unhealthy - this can range from changes in your neurochemistry that result in clinical depression to unhealthy thought patterns that express as attachment disorders, low self worth, codependency, etc.

Whether you are experiencing challenges relating to clinical depression or situational depression, your situation is no doubt compounded by issues relating to your perception of self. The way to address these complex issues is to seek counseling. Addressing and correcting some of the unhealthy self perceptions will require you to break unhealthy thought patterns and create healthy ones. There is a very interdependent relationship here. The outcome, however, is a greater ability to feel joy, more self assurance (the ability to have confidence in your own value and trust your mind/decisions), greater connectedness with friends and loved ones, etc.

Give it some thought. It may be worth sorting through some of your thoughts and feelings with a professional.

[AdamFCastillo31]

Hi, it is unfortunate to hear that you are going through all this. Depression can be very dangerous and if it is not addressed timely it can lead to self-harm and can also be harmful to others near us. In my opinion, your depression seems to be in early-stage and I would advise you to consult with a certified psychiatrist who will evaluate you on the basis of your symptoms. One of my colleagues had a great experience with medvidi and they helped him in an extremely professional manner towards recovery. You can give them a try and I hope this problem of yours gets addressed. Wishing you all the best. Get well soon.