Life struggles

[Violadima]

So lately I’ve been getting really overwhelmed. I’m almost 40 about to retire. Single. The future scares the shit out of me. Not to mention that being single has bothered me more than I’d like to admit. I started spending time with a gentlemen and it’s causal but I start to think about will I ever have a solid relationship. I am going to be alone forever. Then the anxiety sets in and I swear I had an anxiety attack and had to retreat to the closet to calm down. I’m obsessing and stressing over these things I have no control over and it’s driving me mad. Yes I take antidepressants and they seem to work. Maybe as of lately it’s just the point in life that’s bringing things up. All I know is I don’t like it. I went to bed at 730 hoping it would just leave my mind. But here I am at 315 so clearly that didn’t happen. Am I going crazy. Midlife crisis maybe.

[Sabbath1]

Ive been having the same issue. In a ways. I'm younger but feel like I've been trapped my whole life and that nothing good is ever gonna happen. Hell I still ain't sure what I want in life and am a few years from 30. When I think about age and future and all that my anxiety gets very bad. Could be cause I feel like a complete failure idk. Makes me crazy thinking about it. Get the feeling ill never really be accepted because of the issues I have. Loll I f-ing hate thinking about it but it is always poppin into my mind . I guess my point is you're not alone in this madness. Maybe we will figure it all out when our minds stop thinking about it. .. that's all I can hope.

[Shnookie]

Hi. It’s Shnookie. It sounds like U might have some anxiety issues. Maybe U should discuss this with your therapist and perhaps can be prescribed some meds to lower your anxiety levels. U can also do deep breathing exercises; positive visualization; lay down and listen to music U enjoy 😉 among other things. I’m here 4 U. Hugs 🤗 S

[Blueruth]

Retire at 40? That makes the future an open book. I’d be anxious too if I didn’t have a plan. You don’t have to have a fifty year plan. It could be one year though that could get exhausting. Do you have ideas?

[Violadima in reply to Blueruth]

I have a few ideas. From your hardest craziest idea like opening a bed and breakfast to a simpler manageable like getting a camper and traveling or a part time job I actually enjoy. I guess I’m just afraid of nothing working out. I mean I can fo something government related and make good money. I have been networking but I don’t know if I want to do something related to what I’ve done for 22 years. I’ve had two anxiety attacks though more mild in the past month. I take meds and they seem to work but idk. Definitely making a therapy appt tomorrow. Something is different and I can’t tell what it is. All I know the closer it gets the more anxious I am so I know I need to get this in check ASAP.

[Blueruth in reply to Violadima]

It sounds like you are doing the right things but with a self defeating outlook. I have a 22 year career AND I have failed about every two years! How is that possible?!If you can live without a job you can fail over and over and that is fabulous! It is a gift!

Maybe you have but look up FIRE. You’ll find many like minded people who have managed this in some way.

Check the hidden brain “you 2.0” series. There is one episode in particular that aired last fall about purpose. It will surprise you.

It really is okay to fail. Spend frugally (see FIRE) and just try stuff. You have ideas. IDo something that is interesting for two years with a plan to quit. Slow travel is very popular and makes a lot of sense, especially with our passports.

FIRE people I follow live on 35k a year. At my age I anticipate my current job is my last job at the professional level. Not by choice other than burnout. You bet I’m looking at how I can make my dollar stretch and not break my back at a job I hate. That’s my choice given my lot. Fail at a good retirement or risk and reward. That choice is really a privilege.

[JkBauer]

Good morning,I hope that you are feeling better today. Life is all about relationships. - Do you get out and get involved with family and or friends? Have you thought about getting out maybe volunteering down at the mission or maybe reading stories to kids at a nearby school or library? Maybe you like to bake, you could bake some cookies and take them to some neighbors? Maybe you enjoy seniors, you go and make some social visits at the local nursing home to the lonely people there? Maybe you enjoy babies or children, you could volunteer as a baby rocker in the hospital for those babies who have been abanded or play with those children who are hospital-bound and have no one that will come and see them? Maybe you love animals, you could volunteer at an animal shelter? - There are so many things that you can get yourself involved in. Maybe, you like to walk or ride bikes?...