Birthday ruins entire month

[NightLion]

Hi everyone. This is my first post here.

I am in my late 40s and have hated my birthday since around age 12 or 13. But that feeling has gotten even more intense over the years. Getting older is only a very small part of the problem. I can't really think of one particular sad or traumatic experience that caused this issue. I can recall a few mediocre birthdays as a kid but nothing truly awful. I think what set me on this path was when I started high school, I made the decision not to tell anybody when my b-day was, because I felt like people ignoring or forgetting the day was worse than if they never knew in the first place.

One of my least favorite things about the day are the automated emails and phone calls from businesses or organizations I have dealt with before. Last year I unsubscribed from any company that sent me one. But this year, a few got ahead of the game and started sending me greetings on Nov. 1 (my actual birthday is Thanksgiving week, which is a discussion for another day...). So as a result I feel like I'm spending the entire month in a funk, instead of the maybe 7-10 days surrounding the day in past years.

When I turned 40 a few years ago, I knew I had to do something to protect myself, so my wife & I went on vacation to someplace super-remote. That turned out to be my only semi-happy birthday in the last 25-30 years. So this year we are doing something similar, skipping out on family Thanksgiving just to be far away. I think it will help, and the day itself should be a lot better, but I'm still down most of the time thinking about the whole situation, which is made worse by the fact that I'll be away from my elderly (but thankfully healthy) parents.

I'm not sure if I really have any questions, kind of just felt like I needed to share this with someone besides my wife & my therapist. But it's been a little rough.

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Hi I don't like to celebrate or aqwknowledge birthdays it's no big deal to me the older we get becomes less important I'm 57 what peeves me is its pending 3 years I be 6o and should have been getting my state penshion but as the laws changed I'm now having to live off inheritance so I may end up a poor old age penshioner when I reach the new penshion age in ten years time, I also went away most birthdays just to avoid any fuss take care try and embrace your young birthdays life's short and before you know it you will be as old as me 🙄🤗I also like to try and avoid Xmas I don't look forward to it as something traumatic always happens on or near it re Xmas day mams heart attack boxing day step dad died, it all effects us and when stuff happens on noted occasions makes it kinda worst 🤔