Hi. If you’ve read my previous posts you probably know that I have quite the problematic family. But I just don’t know why it’s happening and how to deal with them.
For the last few years, my life has become boring. Like groundhogs day. Every day is the same. I wake up, go to school, come home, and do nothing. My parents don’t take me anywhere and never really buy many things for us. If my dad ever heard me say that he would probably ground me for weeks. He swears that he does everything for me but acts like going grocery shopping more than once a month is unnecessary. We never have food because of that. If I tell him we have no food than he’ll just say “we have plenty of food, you’re just too lazy to make it.” When we really just have a few boxes of pasta.
My mother doesn’t have a job. She quit her last job when I was 7. Which was 9 years ago, saying she wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. But then me and my sister ended up feeding and cleaning after ourselves for years until my dad moved back in. She hasn’t had a job since and her only source of money is her dad. She promises every day that she’s looking for a job and that she’s turning over a new leaf but hasn’t even touched a vacuum since I learned how to write.
Obviously this causes many many arguments between my parents. There are some more peaceful weeks where they only have 1-2 fights but then there are really bad weeks where they fight several times a day. They don’t care that their kids can hear them, in fact they bring us out to use us in their arguments.
All of this makes my dad miserable. I haven’t seen him happy ever. That isn’t an exaggeration, he is constantly mad and upset and takes it out on everybody. When he isn’t screaming at my mom or on the phone he is screaming at me or my sister. Never at my brother though.
I’m envious of my brother. He is 7 years old and the most hyper child I’ve ever seen. Every single person that has come to my house was utterly shocked how impolite and loud this kid is. He is the only child on his mothers side and is spoiled every day. He gets a new toy or a new outfit every single day and always has food at his mothers house. He has never picked up after himself in his life and has never done a chore. I know he’s just 7 but he’s treated like a king. He’s never disciplined. And again, I know that he’s just 7 and I love him and I’m gonna sound like a jerk for saying this but the lack of discipline has made him into a stuck up brat. He can do no wrong.
My sister isn’t treated like him but she so obviously favored over me. She’s very athletic and loves to hang out with my brother. She takes him off my dads hands and my brother purposely doesn’t give her a hard time. She likes my dad more and my dad likes her more.
For some reason. My dad, sister, and brother constantly nag on everything I do. If I ever am alone for too long I will get punished but if I am bothering them then I’m also punished. They constantly bring up personal things about me to each other and then gang up on me, teasing me, bullying me. I feel powerless and drained whenever I’m around them.
Whenever my dad isn’t happy with me he starts to make up all of these ideas in his head that am some narcissistic bully when I’m at school. Which is really weird because he doesn’t even know how I am when I’m at school. Yet whatever I tell him he somehow turns around and uses against me.
For example in September, when my dad got home from work, I was trying to spark a conversation with him by bringing up my mean math teacher. She’s very strict and yelled at me a few times. I told him this and he was being normal just saying “yeah I’ve had teachers like that. It’ll happen sometimes” but then later that day, he was mad at me for not taking out the trash and said something along the lines of “I am the adult here. You’re additude is horrendous. No wonder your history teacher always yells at you” obviously I don’t like telling him anything about my day.
If you’ve read my last post you know I don’t really have many friends at all. I talk to my mom about it but she ends up telling everything to my dad thinking she’s helping but then whenever my dad is mad at me he says “this is why you don’t have any friends” which is such a rotten thing to say especially to your kid. He also gets my sister and brother in on it. My sister says the exact same thing, just more often. And my brother is the worst. Bringing it up to make of me for it “haha you don’t have any friends!” And instead of telling an impressionable child to stop, my dad and sister join in laughing at me for the rest of the night. My brother never stops this, he’s being encouraged. Whenever he comes here he brings his additude. My dad just calls it ‘natural humor’
My brother is primarily at his mothers. Comes over every other weekend and randomly during the week. To be honest, I try to avoid everyone when he comes over. I can’t deal with those 3 together. And my mom doesn’t really stop it. My dad gets really pissed off whenever I’m in my room when my brothers here. This kind of thing just happened yesterday.
Sometimes when I get home from school I take naps. I’m told that I’m copying my sister for that, she always takes naps after school. But yesterday I was quite tired so I took a pretty long nap. Apperantly, my brother came over and was being his abnoxious self (nothing out of the ordinary), constantly flipping bottles and screaming. I woke up to my dad walking upstairs (something that usually puts me on edge), he was taking to my mom and was really mad about something (if you couldn’t tell my dad is a mad person in general), and I heard him talking about me. He was saying stuff like “she’s always avoiding J (brother), this is why she doesn’t have friends, that phone is ruining her, she can’t socialize with anyone. She doesn’t know how to function without it” he says stuff like this daily. It’s quite annoying. My mom told him that I was napping. Yet my dad still came into my room and turned my light on and woke me up. He took my phone and iPad and when I asked why he was taking them he said “why would you care if you were really sleeping” I told him that I really was “you’ve never taken a nap after school before, your sister does that not you” which is a lie. He knows I’ve taken naps before because this isn’t the first time where he’s taken my stuff for sleeping to early. While walking out with my stuff he said “go back to sleep. It really looks real” I laid in bed for a good 5 minutes just contemplating everything. He does this all the time. But it’s so infuriating when he does.
I heard him downstairs ranting to himself about me and how I was faking to avoid my brother. I walked out and told my mom that my dad took my stuff again and she wasn’t surprised, telling me to let him cool down. A little while later I was getting water and my dad came upstairs (my kitchen is upstairs) for something. I asked him why he was like this and he immediately started talking over me. He always thinks he’s right because he doesn’t let anyone else speak. He was just going on a rant on how selfish of a person I was and how my phone is rotting my brain and making me a narcissist and saying this this is why nobody likes me. I told him that if anyone saw this happening than they would take my away to which he replied with these exact words “good. I’d be relieved.” My mom didn’t hear him. I started tearing up asking why he would say something like that to which he responded “because it’s true” he went downstairs shortly after saying things like “how dare you treat me like this after I bought you art supplies” and “get lost, we don’t want you here” after went back down I asked my mom why he would say something like that, she didn’t know what I was talking about that and I told her what he said. She gasped and started holding me saying that he didn’t mean that and that he was just drunk. Which he wasn’t by the way. He doesn’t like drinking.
I went back to my room doing my homework and my brother came upstairs knocking on my door instigating saying “haha you got in trouble” and started flipping his bottles outside of my door. I came out and took both of them and went back in my room, locking the door. When my brother started banging on my door and kicking it. When asked him why he was doing this he told me that my dad sent him up here to annoy me on purpose. He knows how upset I get over this.
My sister was at work while this happened and my dad drove her back most likely telling her what happened from his perspective. She came back saying I was selfish for avoiding them and the famous “this is why no one likes you” and IM the bully somehow.
He was also saying that he was canceling the dentist appointment I had today as if it were some kind of punishment. He ended up taking me. Today he acted like nothing happened, talking to me like normal.
This is just one of the hundreds of times that this has happened. The only thing different from time to times is whatever got my dad so upset. Some as petty as the way I put blueberries in muffins.
I don’t know why my parents are like this. Why my family is like this. My dad never feels bad for this stuff, he forgets it. If I bring it up then I’m a jerk and a bully. I don’t know what i did wrong and I know I sound really dramatic but I can’t stand living like this. I have no one to talk to. My mom doesn’t understand, my sister calls me a psycho and I don’t really have any friends which has been pointed out by them many times. What do I do.
I’ve ruined my family
What's wrong with me?
What the heck is wrong with me?
Manipulations of my family
what is wrong with me this is getting frightening 
