Hurt

[oldtimer159]

I cannot stop feeling alone. I am at home with my thoughts. I had a friends whom I really liked and probably loved too but she's not there anymore. She might go in a relationship with someone else soon.

She has stopped contacting me like before with her issues, problems, venting. And I feel very alone because of that. I always counted her to be there but her leaving in the middle of this pandemic is hurting very bad everyday. And above that there is the jealousy and hurt that she might be going in a relationship with someone else.

And above this I have to be in contact with her everyday because we are in the same class. So it is difficult to forget her too. It hurts to see her in class or among group talking in a way that not being close to me doesn't hurt her at all and that it might be true also.

I'm just messed up because of it. Whenever I think I'm happy, I think of her and it all goes away into depression. All this really hurts me.

The timing is also very bad. First of all pandemic and second is very important stuff going on in college. High Stakes. Really fucked up this time.

Thanks to anyone who's reading this.

[Shnookie]

Hi 👋 It’s Shnookie. Sorry 😐 U R going this. R U seeing a therapist ? R U on any meds ?I give U all the credit in the world 4 expressing yourself on this website. We R a supportive and nonjudgmental group. R there any mental health services on your college campus ? U deserve happiness.

When U feel happy 😃 embrace it. Perhaps, if U start journaling, writing down your thoughts it might help U release some of your pain. During the pandemic, a lot of personal relationships changed. I lost some friends during this period. Obviously

It is harder in your situation because is around the campus. U cannot let one person take away your happiness and stop concentrating on obtaining good grades at university. Yes the way U describe it there was an emotional intimacy between U

2. It will take time but hopefully with the help of hotlines and University mental health services U will be able to view your relationship with her from a different perspective

I’m here 4 U. Hugs 🤗 S

[oldtimer159 in reply to Shnookie]

Hey Shnookie! I am not seeing a therapist though I think I need to. Its being long overdue and the techniques and methods to reduce depression are not working for me anymore from a long time. I've never gone to a mental health professional and I cant go right now as my college is currently going on virtually and my family won't understand the seriousness of my condition. They'll just say that you should start praying more which is so funny. I don't blame them for that though. Its what they grew up in.

I have seen my friends once in the past 1.5 yrs just for one day because of pandemic which makes things more difficult.

Thank you for your response. It helps me feel better to know that someone cares and understands what I'm going through.