I debate whether to call off or not. I have and have not gone to work when I just mentally do not feel good.
1. I end up feeling guilty so I don't call off but it effects my performance or I end up feeling better, almost like proud of myself for doing it.
2. I end up calling calling off, still feeling guilty and it doesn't really help my mood or I end up feeling relieved when I get a break from work.
It's a hit or miss
What do you do/think?
I definitely call out when I am not doing well mentally. It can be tough to assess when it's really necessary or when I can push through. I am probably luckier than many in that I have generous sick leave and a union to protect me. I know that we can be made to feel guilty and that mental health is often not taken seriously, but you have to take care of yourself first and your mental well-being is at least as important as your physical health.
I pushed myself not to call off yesterday but I was just really distracted and couldn't focus. I'm hoping I made the right call today to get back on track. I really love hearing feedback from others who kind of go through the same issues. Thank you.
If you had the flu, you would take the day/days off.
If you put your back out in a such a way that you couldn't move about, you would take the day/days off.
If you slipped and fell and took a blow to the head or broke a leg, you would take the day/days off.
So....when your mental health is affecting your ability to be in the moment and to function fully, take the day/days off. 🌿 This is crucial, in my opinion. Our mental wellness is as important as our physical wellness, perhaps even more so. 🦋
Having been an educator most of my working life, with responsibility for both and staff. I have found it really difficult to take time off due to my anxiety and depression. Until, 4 years ago. I was driving to a venue to hand out certificates and make a speech to students and teachers (which I had done several times before, and enjoyed), having run a program for students with 'different needs'. I suddenly found myself, in my car, in unfamiliar surroundings, having no clue where I was or where I was going to. I became anxious and couldn't phone anyone as I couldn't speak. I got through to a colleague in the end who sorted things out. That was my first warning sign. I have suffered from a mental illness since a young age, but never admitted or acknowledged it as I have always been a high achiever and this could not happen to me. I am now 59 and have been seeing a psychiastrist and psychologist ever since. I have had to take many weeks/months off school and have realised now that I will not be able to continue in my area of experience. My message to you is, firstly acknowledge your mental health struggles, think of yourself first rather than worry about letting others down, as that has been my main downfall. I am sure that if I had accepted it sooner, I wouldn't now be struggling so much.. and having to take meds (too much) just to cope with getting through the day ... Take care of yourselves .....😍
I actually have zoned out on my way to work before. Not like you, but still I just felt like I wasn't there and I was going 20 over the speed limit. Just that alone was scary for me. I acknowledge my mental health struggles. I just don't want to accept them. If that makes since?
I've done it. My guilt only lasts until the phone call is made.
Do what you need for you. Listen to your body it's telling you something,
🐬
Oh my goodness.....I could not have related to this post more. I struggle so much with this dilemma as well. It made me feel so much better to know that others struggle with this too. I am currently in the process of finding a job that I can better balance my mental health. With my job now I try to push through and like you said...sometimes my friends at work will actually help me a lot and I feel better and glad I went to work and then other times I will have bad anxiety attacks and end up shaking and bawling in front of everyone because of how challenging my job can be. So I understand the difficulty in finding that balance. I'm still finding it too. Hopefully the solution is finding a job that doesn't cause me so much anxiety even on good mental days. I'm not sure what you do for work but that could be something to consider as well.
We think alike because that was my solution too. I used to be a Medical Assistant in urology which was very fast pace, plus traveling 40+ min and a mother of 3, one just born in 2020. Anyways I actually loved what I did but I was just burnt out. I tried finding a job closer to my kids daycare to try to eliminate some of the traveling. I found a job right down the street actually but it was primary care and I didn't like it. It took me a few months to try again but that time I tried urgent care. The job was okay but I didn't like the 12 hour shifts. Now I'm working from home. Everything works out now but the only thing that bothers me is it's not fulfilling and I'm isolated. I hate to sound ungrateful but I don't know. I guess you can't have your cake and eat it too
I really don’t understand why so many medical places demand 12 hour shifts. Humans aren’t designed to be alert for 12 hours straight. It’s a weird culture they could fix with careful shift handoffs.
I wonder if any of these types of places have started offering better hours. It can’t be easy to keep medical staff these days.
I can only work a couple of shifts a week now as my anxiety is so bad,I do not get paid for being off sick and I think my boss has given up on me and doesn’t show any sympathy’ she is my landlord to and I’m earning less than I pay out,luckily I have a small pension help but just wish I could retire now I am 60 and don’t get my state pension while I am 67 and live on my ownThe only thing that keeps me going is my friends who I work with
My job is in a shop and Post Office so my work has to be accurate or I have to pay the money back and unfortunately my sleep is terrible the night before work with all the worry
That would be ideal to work part time. Unfortunately, you need money to survive. That's my other problem with life. Why do you have to kill yourself mentally and physically to stay alive?? I hate it. But we all are trying our best. Hang in thereBy the way coworkers are the best. That was my support as well. I'm glad you have that!
Oh no! You need your sleep.
I try to manage my stress but it often creeps up. I also have managers who aren't exactly skilled at managing situations that cause my stress. I'll often push through as much as I can, especially if it's being caused by a situation that has a limited time frame. But if it carries on, I get to meltdown stage and end up needing a few weeks off to recover. Perhaps if I took smaller amounts of time more regularly, I wouldn't get to that stage, however that is also frowned on at my work and the return to work meetings also cause me stress.
Sometimes you simply have to balance it all out in a way that helps you function reasonably well, whilst also causing the least amount of hassle for you at work.
I feel you on this. I tried being open to my manager. She seemed supportive at first but like you said not skilled at managing situations that caused my stress. It just kept getting worse and my meltdowns at work began. That's how I knew I couldn't stay there anymore. It's so hard finding that balance. I hope you find yours.
Sometimes, we are not able to do our work very well due to our mental illness. We are not able to give our effort 100% due to our work load pressure and other mental illness. So during the high work load pressure, we should take some rest. We should relax few hours and then start our work with brisk mind.
Today is a new day and I'm feeling hopeful. My goal is to finish this work day and enjoy my weekend home!
Great. Finish your work very well and enjoy your week end.
I’m now working with my wife, in our own business, but when I had a “proper” job, I would typically still go to work when suffering with my mental health, or if I did call in sick I would give a different reason for my absence.
Although when I went in, I was never as productive as I should have been. During lockdown, and working from home I did very little and couldn’t believe my bosses never spotted that.
The only times I have mentioned mental health was on the 3 occasions when I was really bad and was then off work for about 2 months each time.
I am all for people starting their own business. I think people who are able to do this are so brave and talented. I wish you lots of success and good health.
When I worked for the health service they were horrible to staff off sick and most of them were genuinely ill seriously and had doctors notes!
Most people who are off sick are genuinely poorly!
I can kind of sense when I’m just not able to concentrate or my mood is too low. Or if I have worked so hard that I’m going to be missing details.
If it’s simply too much, I will call in. The sooner I let them know the decision, the better I feel about it and the easier for them to manage.
I’ve rarely referred to it as a mental health issue as they don’t need to know why I am “not feeling well.”
If I have a plan of action to help my mental state for the day I will call off work (hiking, walking, resting, seeing friends, etc.). If I don't have a plan of action I force myself to go to work because it's always better to keep moving than let whatever is going on in your mind to sit and fester.
Depending where you are at, there might be the option of working part time. I'm is deep depression and have high anxiety. With a note from my doc, my employer accepted that I work only 2 hours a day for now. It is not always easy, but I feel better that I can accomplish at least that every day. Maybe for you 4 hours would be fine. But of course, it depends a lot on the open mindedness of your employer.
When my boyfriend died and I left work for a week, as much time as I could take without penalty. When I returned, I was still distraught and unwell. Although if I asked my boss to leave early on the hardest days, he'd always wonder why I couldn't "handle it". I stopped calling out for mental health after that. I was surrounding by men who believed emotions were weaknesses and it became a new hell to live in every day at work.
What I mean by my story is that mental health comes first, like most comments I see with people relating it to the flu (I agree!). If you're sick, take the day. BUT make it valuable. Because you're right - if you call out and spend all day feeling guilty about calling out, you're only prolonging the period of suffering. Know where your limits are and when calling out is necessary, then have a list of activities you can start doing immediately to ease your mind. I hope that is something helpful!
Take it easy, friend. We are all doing our best every day.
What should I do? What do you do when you feel depressed or anxious or BOTH?
What do you do when you are sad 
What to do, when you don't quite know how your feeling? 
what to do when nothing works
