Just some Monday humor to start the week - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

93,056 membersβ€’86,943 posts

Just some Monday humor to start the week

Jrick34 profile image
Jrick34
β€’25 Replies

"Two patients who are in an insane asylum try to escape by leaping over to the adjoining building. The first patient makes it across, but the second patient is afraid that he will fall. The first patient gets an idea and says, "Hey, I got this flashlight with me. I'll just shine it across the gap between the buildings and you can walk across the beam and join me". But the second patient says, "What do you think I am, crazy? You'll just turn it off when I'm halfway across!" Even if you just smiled reading this then that's good enough for me lol. Love you guys and don't give up!

Written by
Jrick34 profile image
Jrick34
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
25 Replies
β€’
Roxylox profile image
Roxylox

My sometimes weird and darkish sense of humour did appreciate this, thanks. Do keep up the jokes, much needed here!

Isinatra profile image
Isinatraβ€’ in reply toRoxylox

I second your motion.🀝

piano1950 profile image
piano1950β€’ in reply toIsinatra

3rd here.i am cracking up

piano1950 profile image
piano1950β€’ in reply topiano1950

PS..keep them comin'

Beevee profile image
Beevee

I went to see about joining a yoga class. The teacher asked if I was very flexible so I told her that I couldn't make Tuesdays...

Jrick34 profile image
Jrick34β€’ in reply toBeevee

I literally spit out my coffee lol

Beevee profile image
Beeveeβ€’ in reply toJrick34

Result! 🀣

Beevee profile image
Beevee

We had a lovely eastern european cleaner but had to let her go after the first day because it took her more than 4 hours to vacuum a few stairs. Turns out she was a Slovak...

piano1950 profile image
piano1950β€’ in reply toBeevee

I had to think for a second.love it

BTCCET profile image
BTCCET

A little bit of humour is always welcome, thank you πŸ‘

propjock profile image
propjock

We have this woman in our therapy group, she thinks she's a chicken. Scratches the ground with her feet, makes clucking noises during meetings. We've thought about really pressing her to get professional help, but decided not to. Selfish, I know, but we're really enjoying the fresh eggs every week.

Jrick34 profile image
Jrick34β€’ in reply topropjock

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Isinatra profile image
Isinatraβ€’ in reply topropjock

πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ‘πŸΌ

piano1950 profile image
piano1950β€’ in reply topropjock

😁

piano1950 profile image
piano1950β€’ in reply topropjock

πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†so funny..

CLB1125 profile image
CLB1125β€’ in reply topropjock

πŸ˜‚

Hb2003 profile image
Hb2003

My favorite movies to watch during Ramadan is the hunger games and fast and furious 🀣🀣

While robbing a home a burglar hears someone say "Jesus is watching you."

He is startled, until he realizes it is just a parrot repeating something he heard.

The burglar asks the parrot "What is your name little birdie?"

The parrot answers "Moses".

"What kinda person names their parrot Moses?" asks the burglar.

The parrot replies "The same kind of man that names his rottweiler Jesus."

Jrick34 profile image
Jrick34β€’ in reply toNothing_but_books

🀣🀣🀣 i like that!

piano1950 profile image
piano1950β€’ in reply toNothing_but_books

now I know, do not read these jokes while drinking. this is great πŸ˜„πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Rafiki11 profile image
Rafiki11

These jokes are terrible!! 🀣🀣🀣

piano1950 profile image
piano1950

thanks Jrick... am grinning from ear to earits great

😁

piano1950 profile image
piano1950

πŸ˜„πŸ‘

Isinatra profile image
Isinatraβ€’ in reply topiano1950

Thanks for bringing this post back up. I had a good laugh all over again. 😁

Adlon57 profile image
Adlon57

Doh!πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ™„πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

Not what you're looking for?

You may also like...

Need to start making decisions

So I have made previous posts about my husband and his live in girlfriend or as I look at her the...
Dolphfan47 profile image
β€’

I just need some support

It's hard. I was out with an unimate and she wanted to see pictures of my family. I was triggered...

Some days are better than

I am trying Soo hard to be a better more understanding and helpful husband. But today was really...
Billsfriend profile image
β€’

Not a good start to the week

Well another weekend came around and the whole scenario where my husband walked out to meet someone...
Clarebear86 profile image
β€’

New here. Where to start?

Hey, I am a woman in my 50s and for the last 8 weeks (but never before in my life), I've had these...
jllanguille profile image
β€’

Moderation team

Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.

Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.