End the stigma : The worst thing about... - Anxiety and Depre...

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End the stigma

animefan94 profile image

The worst thing about being high functioning:

“But you look just fine on the outside. So why can’t you do this or that?”

Really. It’s just not that simple.

27 Replies

Hi there I've spent years having to explain my depression because of the ignorance surrounding mental health if they don't see you upset they presume your fine if they see a visible problem then there ok with that we've got to educate people on how to deal with mental health! All the best take david

This is one of the reasons I don't speak to anyone about depression and anxiety. Unless you've been there, there's no way to understand. It's like Veterans with PTSD from combat. There's no way I or others can relate unless we've been there. That's why I like this forum. Try to tell someone that you've been so depressed that your bones literally ache or that on a hot 85 degree day you're still freezing or that sense of overwhelming dread in your entire body. So, don't expect others to understand. They can care and help you in other ways but that's it. It's unfortunate but I think that's most people's reality. If those people were smart and cared they'd say something like "I don't understand what it feels like or what you're going through but I do care about you and I think about you and I'm there for you."

Brig57 profile image
Brig57 in reply to RCCOLA

no offense- but who would ask that...its such a rejection....so phil can sing...why cant u......so paul can run the hundred yard dash or play the piano why cant u.....who intheir right mind would ask such a thing....most people try or want toplease......if they could they would...why would anyone compare one person to another......its so destructive.......so mozart wrote at three why can u........who would say such a thing.........certainly no real friend......friends accept people for who they are .......that's it........end of story.......how cruel and thoughtless. I'm sorry people do this.

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply to Brig57

It's true... friends aren't supposed to be like that but some are. One of my friends recently said to me.... you aren't any better. She was angry about a conversation we were having. I said I don't need your opinion or judgement on where you think I am. I know where I am. None of your business. If she can't see the improvement she may need an eye exam 🙄

🐬

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply to Dolphin14

I've noticed when people feel angry, often they will find the lowest common denominator they can think of and use it as a weapon....cheap shots....a cowards way of dealing with an issue. The worst form of gaslighting.

I'm really sorry you had to put up with that...I hope you know that person saw their own issues, so they had to lash out at you, that's a low blow, and I'd reconsider at what boundaries level you put on that friendship....that's not acceptable to say to anyone.

It's like telling a recovering alcoholic or drug addict who have been working on improving their attitude in life that they are still the same even sober...wow...that's demeaning and condescending...and just cruel.

Brig57 profile image
Brig57 in reply to fauxartist

absoutely well wwlel well said bang on target......bravo....

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply to Brig57

Thanks pal...hope your doing well

Brig57 profile image
Brig57 in reply to fauxartist

not bad..........have much to be thankful for ........certain mentioned people here for one thanks.............what size punch bowl would i get?? and how many balloons to fill their cars? what if the car floats off? what if hey walk? ooh fun to send them to a four day spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply to fauxartist

Thank you Faux... of course my emotional side ended the conversation and cried for a couple days. Then a few weeks after I called her out on it. She denied having said it. I said why would I make this up?

Anyway, boundaries are set. Some subjects are just off limits. My mental health is one of them.

It is about her. She has deep anger issues and won't complete any course of therapy. I don't think she wants to know the deep stuff that's bothering her.

I know I'm good. I know I'm better:) No one is going to tell me I'm not.

Thank you my friend

❤️🐬

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply to Dolphin14

I'm sorry and sad this person hurt you my friend, but remember what you have gone through, all the super strength it took, and that you're a professional who does their job, as well as taking care of your loved ones. Remember that sometimes when someone can't admire you they can be spiteful...that's not healthy...I'm glad you saw your way to push this person back a bit...especially the lying about what they said is gaslighting and that is my major taboo red flag for me ...someone does that crap to me, and they are history, I lose my trust for them, I've been there and done that in my ex-marriage...

Count your blessings that you actually are farther along in personal growth than this person because you became aware of an issue you were not comfortable with and had the courage to take it on to understand why you feel the way you do. That person may have guilt issues, or think their Shere will power to not acknowledging they have a problem is the way they will handle things. But that kind of denial leads to anger and frustration…'like acid eating it's way out of a vessel'...eventually you're going to get burned.

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply to fauxartist

You are so kind to me. Thank you for pointing out my strengths. You are such a good friend.

The things that come out of peoples mouths sometimes is just rotten stuff.

She has her problems. I wish she would follow through but as we know we have to help ourselves.

I've pulled away from her a bit. I also have decided not to share much of anything anymore. It's sad to lose friendships but I'm much wiser now.

❤️🐬

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply to Dolphin14

You deserve to be treated with respect from everyone, especially so-called friends. And this 'Unfiltered' mind set seems to be the new norm, I call it rudeness. Some things we are better left to keep to ourselves, and I always consider the source ...like...misery loves company....or emotional vampires, all those types of narcs. out there... It is an emotional mind field sometimes that we have to navigate in our daily life...but just stay true to what you know, and trust yourself, and I have been very grateful to call you my friend, we have great talks and you're always so kind to let me ramble away.

Brig57 profile image
Brig57 in reply to Dolphin14

off the record----all the kids in the hundred acre woods think u and LC aware swell..........cant wait for u to come back...........they are asking kermit to sing his song.......try to get us and LC to go on the muppets show......

Brig57 profile image
Brig57 in reply to Dolphin14

working with horses and students........not geting better is not declining......so its an active process of maintenance.....i don't want them to get better and healing is like a wound........only a moron yells at a wound to heal faster.........maintane means my horses are not pressured.......and with students..they lwearn and grow not in lnear curve but steps.........platuesa are buldin g for the nest step........shows ignorance and they were being stuipd frankly (I've lost my tact over the years) and compete ignorance of how people work.........constancy is homeostasis.....maitianed by active work.......an absence of work results in decline.........i also want people to not have stress or additional stress....iw ant work low key...espe nurses have enough stress.....why add to it......which forces people to make snap judgments when in fact........they need to monitor a case........or have the time to stay and comfort a paitnet or really look them over.........we stand at the stalls and waste time deliberately..........see the horse over five and ten min...then u start to really see........etc.....a luxury nurses and doctors are seldom given.............and in the back of dedicated nurses.......screams at this ......this is allllll wrong..................i need more .......time with my patients not treating them as patients but i am their guardian.......on my shift........i must know everything about them.........inttativelly........decicaed nurseds like u....wallk in early and memorize each patient.......its their sense that raises the alarm bells............something isn't right and they catch things early ............saving lives .......but often rejected for it............i learned to listen to these sentinels........they useually are right.....they usually have someing going off and a sixth sense....i cant see or detect as a male......so what .....we use dogs all the time for their noses and senses.........great nurses......are the sensors and sentimnetals ........and very high sense for detail......

that's why they not me are with the patients.........no one no harm comes to my patients....

that's a nurse......a lionness .......wathing over her patients.....

i have learned to listen to them.........no improving in many cases is gold.........

not improving means an active state at wrok

not improving is insulting and ingnroant

wny create stress etc as well.....i want her mind on the patients not have to guard her flanks or jugular.....i count on her.........shes my stethoscope so to speak.....shes the sentinels....

Happy birthday Luna........

Brig57 profile image
Brig57 in reply to Brig57

i failed to tell my father thank u enough...i treied........but ......i should have poured it into him....now..i tell the peoe that are special to me ......i say it now.....nto after they are gone........people thnk I'm a bit cracked about it.........so what.........id rather be outrageous and unconventional and tel people what they mean now.........ill celebrate my special friends any time i feel like it..........i don't need approval or the social or pschholigcal police.............there are significant people in my life......and I'm going to make a huge banner and staple it all over .........u matter........to me and most of us..............u help make life worth living......amen

happy birthday luna

happy bitthdyha dolphin

happy u day friends.....happy u day...your v v v v v vv spedial to me and hundreds here.....

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply to Brig57

I will also like to wish Luna a happy birthday

🎂🎂🎂

🐬

Brig57 profile image
Brig57 in reply to Dolphin14

ahhhhh thank u dolphin..........certrian peole we can always count on......time for serouis and a time to tell life to go stick it......be positively outrageous..........do something outrageous.......dump a pile of flowers on the nurses desk with a basket of chocolates ........have luna come home to a banner and mounds of flowers.........be outrageous...........same to dolphin and let them know they arent important.........they are essential..........let them know how u really feel............rather than just whsiper to yourself.......wow.....what wonderful people are dolpinne and fax artist and luna child and others......if only they could hear my thoughts.........rthey die of our admiration.............

st juds has it right.........say it while u can and over kill.....a time for eferytring........tell your loved ones........while u can............and in no small way.....

happy great people and caring people day.......everyone....

Brig57 profile image
Brig57 in reply to Brig57

people misunderantnad and think ur ????

sentimements are genuine sentiments......imagine the world without u....

oh god perish the thought..........a world without dolphin?? LC? now that's terrifying.........Faux artist?

a world without the redwoods? no.........way.......same sentiment

Animefan94...I totally understand, it's happened to me from my own family. Why people feel the need to weaponize our issues against us is just a coward who can't deal with their own issues and fear around it, so they project their own crap on those of us who have been open and honest. I think we clearly are on top of this when we are at least admitting our truths...pity them for not being able to do that.

i want my horses to feel accepted first.......i develop them........only if.....i decide.......they are good enough .......as is..........this is their home too.........free from the constant training and constant nag nag nga of perfection and instructors and coaches............I'm there too........leave me alone........49 years of training.....have had enough.........want peace and quiet an d end to training and changing and never being shorgood enough........the trees and animals accept u as is......righ this moment.....rich poor tall short........onlhy are how they are treated...

saw so much in vet med...now.....jsut want to do nothing with the horses.....i can ride at a high level.....all i want is to do noting but leave them in peace and watch them unmolested eating grass.....just a s is......their sanctuary and i protect them from the hansslers the changers.......leafe then alone.........same with my friends.......don't ever criticize my friends in from of me....

Brig57 profile image
Brig57 in reply to Brig57

like many of us here...i am loyal to my friends sometimes at a fault but they have earned it.....we have each toehrs back..in each others corner....we serve and protect each other without question.....the inner circle.......if u need me or us..........ill walk if i have to........we will be there........but only ......for u ...our most trusted friends...........that is no motto........but only our most trusted friends..... friends do not have flaws........they are second skin to us......and we hammer out the work and cover each other........that's how it is.

like nurses like anesthesia and parents and fiends.....I'm the guardian of the farm....we prevent problems......we keep bad elements away......the horses are accepted as is........same with our friends........we are the blind side so to speak.....(movie reference) ......so are great nurses..........the blind side guardians.......no one......comes near our patients...........exteemly protective and prevent not treat.....

Agree

Honestly, that’s the stupidest thing a person could say.

My brother-in-law has diabetes. That’s like me saying to him, “But you look just fine on the outside. So why can’t you eat an entire cake without it involving needles and hospital visits? You don’t look diabetic.”

Brain scans

Brain scans

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