Mom who completely lost herself

I never thought I would feel so alone in this world. Stay at home mom to three kids and a high sensitive introvert. It’s been a very long journey . I’ve taken so much on myself that ended up in depression and low self worth. I feel empty inside with no emotions and feelings. I would rather have any emotions that none at all. I feel like an empty shell doing the same thing day in and day out and nobody knows my private life. Ive lost touch with many friends simply because I can’t socialize normally with people since my depression. And being a stay at home mom doesn’t help. I’ve compltely lost myself and it’s a sad scary feeling not knowing who you are anymore and having no emotional support. I am trying so hard to feel normal but can’t seem to find it. I feel like I’m just living and giving giving but nothing left of me. i love my children and want to be well for them.

[bridder01]

Howdy Mama! I'm Brian! I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way. I've gone through similar stages where I feel almost dead inside. Like there's nothing connecting me with life. For me, music was a way to 'energize the battery', so to speak. Finding something, even if it's very small, to fire off that spark can be huge. It's like trying to start a car on a morning when it's -40 degrees outside. But, just remember, you're not alone. You've got friends here and we'll always be here to support you and to listen. Don't give up! You can do this! I've got faith in ya!

A friend,

Brian

[Hidden in reply to bridder01]

Thank you for the encouraging words!

[bridder01 in reply to Hidden]

Anytime! 😀

[Hidden]

I am so sorry you are feeling empty, I have felt that before and I agree, I would rather feel sad or angry than nothing at all. Are you on any medication or going to therapy?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi I was on antidepressants during my major depression but got off before I got pregnant with my third baby. I’m doing therapy now and I also have thyroid issues so that could be the reason I am feeling this way?! I’m taking meds for it.

[Marshall64]

I'm a full time single dad. I'm so burned out cleaning the house, doing laundry, dishes, cooking (if you could it that) and I have isolated so I can identify with you. Depression has overcome me so i go to support groups and that helps a lot. If i do go out with my friends, it recharges me and i feel like I'm a better dad.

Make a date with with your friends and get out. It is so hard to do but you will feel better. Start with a movie or something similar that you don't have to talk as much. You will slowly regain your life. I'm in the same process as my daughter is getting older (12).

[Hidden]

Hi mamato3. My daughter has a 7 month old and he wears me and her both out!!hes adorable and inquisitive and already crawling and pulling up and everything goes in his mouth and........and....... and that is just one child. It is such a job!! They need to teach baby classes in school and make it mandatory to take the class!!! I have 3 grown children. When they are young you do lose yourself. That’s why something as simple as painting your nails and putting on a ring or putting on makeup is sometimes really important. It helps you to remember you are an individual. The time goes fast but it doesn’t feel like it when you’re diaper changing and washing fingers and faces. Please try to commit to doing one small thing a day for you!!! It is not selfish for you to take care of you!! You need to be good for them. In order to do that—it is very important for you to take care of yourself.

[Windy101]

Thyroid issues could be contributing, but I'd definitely talk to a doctor about your symptoms of depression and see if medication could help. You are describing exactly how a depressed person feels. It's an illusion, just your mind playing tricks with your mood. I urge you to seek additional help. It can't hurt. Congratulations on hanging in there and for taking care of three kids!

[Hollick]

Sorry.

[lovetodance2018]

I am sorry you are struggling with depression. I know how hard it is to want to feel well for your children, but just can't do it. I am glad you reached out on this forum. Everyone here understands the struggles of depression and are here to support, encourage and love you. Are you seeing a professional counselor and psychiatrist? Many times our depression is due to a chemical imbalance in the brain. We can't work on our issues until that imbalance is back to being balanced. Medicine alone is usually not enough to feel better. There is usually things that we think, or situations we are in that contribute to our depressed state. I was a stay a home mom too. I struggled with depression since my second child was 6 months old (she is now 20). I forced myself to be a part of groups like MOMS club or MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). Sometimes I would go to the events and be able to feel normal. But many times I went because I knew it was better for me to be out than in the house even though I wasn't feel well. I also learned my thoughts can be my enemy. This article has some great advice about how to control your thoughts bit.ly/2MdGi0p I had to learn to try to stay positive even then was super hard. Not to be so hard on myself and it is ok to give yourself a break. This is just a tough time, but with the right help you will feel better. I will be praying for you. Please continue to post and know you are not alone.

[lovetodance2018]

How are you doing this week? You have been in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs!

[lonlee1]

Hello Hidden, I am a stay at home father my girlfriend is the bread winner and I do all the cooking, cleaning,full-time college student, and I have a job but she doesn't recognize that and never shows me affection and I'm a very affectionate person. I also feel like I just do the same day-to-day routine and I'm not meant for any other purpose, but to help other people achieve their goals. Until I found this site I felt alone but reading stories such as yours, I realize many people feel the way I do, because of you I don't feel alone. Thank you for your story.

[Agora1 in reply to lonlee1]

You've only just begun to see that you are not alone new friend.I commend you in all you do as well as being a full time student and having

a job. Wow.. Amazing...

As for your relationship, you both have to realize how important it is to put the

two of you as a top priority as well. Date Night... Us Time... You are entitled in reaching

your goals as well. But never lose sight of what brought you two together or it's not

worth it. xx