Hairdresser drama

[Mustard31]

Heya 😊 today I went to the hairdresser after 3 years I haven’t had my hair cut by a professional. I wanted to treat myself and spend a couple of hours relaxing and letting another person touch my hair and all. It turned out to be a catastrophic experience. I went in with all the good intentions, in a good mood, after a good day spent chilling around. Nevertheless, once the hairdresser started cutting my hair I could feel something was not going in the right direction. I could see the cut she was giving me was not what I wanted, but I couldn’t explain how I wanted it different. I had shown her a picture and I couldn’t fully picture the result after replying her questions. Do you want layers? How layered? Straight at the front?

I almost went silent, just showing her the picture and asking to just tidy up my messy haircut I gave myself a month ago. All I wanted was a tidy cut.

I could feel the communication wasn’t going well, I was feeling really uncomfortable, although she was lovely and 100% doing her best. She just seemed inexperienced. She finished the cut, showed me the result and really I hated it. I couldn’t say I didn’t like it and just said I wasn’t too convinced of this and that. She called the senior stylist. She came around and promised me to fix it. All in all I sat down for 1.5 hours to go back home with a cut I don’t particularly like. I felt really uncomfortable while there, I could feel my muscles getting tense and I wish I could have been more vocal. I just paid and left saying thank you. No other word was coming out of my mouth. I feel so disorientated, why couldn’t I explain the cut I wanted? Why couldn’t I stop her while she was cutting? I feel my confidence is gone, god knows where and god knows when I lost it. I lost 1.5 hours of my day just to go back home feeling hopeless. I’m going to a wedding soon and I was hoping to have a beautiful haircut and dress. Thankfully I’ve got the dress, but my hair really looked childish

[propjock]

😢 what a disappointment. I can relate to the feelings but not to the actual situation so I won't try.

[Lm92]

I have been in situations like that. The stylist cut my hair way too short once. I don't like speaking up though for fear of hurting their feelings. I think I've been hurt so much in the past that I have a huge fear of hurting someone else. I've said it a million times, but the best thing I've ever done for myself was therapy. My therapist helped me to see the difference in willfully hurting someone and speaking up when I needed to. We even did practice exercises. As silly as it sounds, it really helped. I'm a bit socially awkward sometimes so the practice gave me some confidence and my therapist taught me that there are some things that are okay to speak up about if I'm not happy with it.

[Isinatra]

Oh, girl, if I could get hold of your hair. Retired hairdresser here. Yes, the girl sounded inexperienced. Hair can be a woman’s crowning glory. If I was you, I’d make an appointment the day of the wedding at a different shop and ask for the most experienced hairdresser there. Tell her your story and tell her to do her thing. Not to hold back. A good hairdresser loves to go for it. It wont be a haircut, just a style. Who knows? You might just love it! ❤️🏄‍♀️

[TruckersWife4life]

I'm so sorry that you had a bad experience. It seems that person had no clue what they were doing. I had went through the same awhile ago with it being coloured also, the lady turned my hair green with a bowl cut, I was so upset that I broke down right in the shop. The outcome was the shop owner came out during my break down. She was so kind and did not charge me and she personally fixed it. So if you can call the shop and explain your experience and maybe they will fix it. But don't hold it in because from experience it will eat you alive.

[Midori]

Oh dear, that is a bit of a disaster, one reason I rarely go to a hairdresser.

I don't know how long before the wedding, but hair grows at about half an inch a month, so hopefully, it will have settled a bit before then.

Cheers, Midori

[Lin1944]

We have hairdressers on every corner and you get charged the same amount even if a Junior is cutting it. I have often come home and cried after a bad hair do. In the more Professional salons you pay higher for the best hairdresser. I like hairdressers not to chat and concentrate on my hair. In America everyone has therapists. You have to be suicidal to see a therapist on NHS over here otherwise going private is very expensive. Must be great when you find a really good one.

[Lm92 in reply to Lin1944]

That is horrible that you have to be to that point to actually be able to go to therapy. I was never a believer in it until about 7 years ago a my doctor talked me into going for my anxiety disorder. When I didn't have health insurance, I journaled a lot and that was a help. One major part of therapy, at least for me, was just being able to get things off my chest and out of my head. Maybe that would be a good start for you? Add in reminders about how it's okay for you to speak up about what you want. You're worth it.