Low days

[purpletomcat]

It's unusual for me to post here, but I've been low since today evening... Just after getting home from a short holiday where I was constantly active. Now I'm home I don't have any motivation again. Its sweltering hot and I feel like I'm an inconvenience to my gf as when I go there she is never ready and last time made me wait outside in my car for an hour before allowing me inside her flat.

[LikeADiamond]

Hi Purple Tomcat,

Sorry that you are experiencing this in your relationship. It sounds like a boundary setting issue to me.

Are you clear about what you want from this relationship? Sometimes it is hard or feels impossible to tell people how to treat us when we don't know ourselves.

Plus you have had a lot of activity which has made you feel good but sometimes doing something different and going back to 'normality' can bring about a comedown, negative feelings.

At least you are able to share your feelings. Maybe consider writing a letter to your partner explaining how you feel and the boundaries you would both like to establish. Also regular exercise helps as we know so you might be able to have some consistent light to start, regime

. Even walking around the block once a day and then increasing. I am struggling too so know it's not easy.

Wishing you the best.

[BrainIsFull]

Sharing how you feel here is a great step!

I often have that let down feeling that you are describing after a trip. Conversely, I sometimes feel better when I just go out for the day. Something about bring away from home.

Any reason why you can't go into your girlfriend's home while she gets ready? Seems odd to me. I would not want to wait for an hour in my car. I agree that talking to her about it is the best thing to do.

I'm sorry that you are feeling down. You are not alone in your struggle! 💚

[Melancholy12]

That wasn’t nice of her could her place have been so messy she didn’t want you to see it? She needs to be more respectful of your time.

[mysticfawn]

Hi Purple Tom Cat. I'm sorry you're having issues right after a vacation. I too get that way. I took my grand kids on vacation recently and the closer to home we got the worse my depression became. I don't like coming home to reality. When we're on a trip or vacation I'm so happy, but when reality sets in and I have to go back to my mundane existence I become worse than before leaving. I almost think I should just skip holidays. As far as your gf making you constantly wait on her... that's strange. You should check into that further. Seems to me if she was excited to be with you she'd be ready or have you in for a cold drink while you wait for her to finish up. You sound like a nice person and if so, your significant other should treat you better than making you sit and wait outside for her. What if you were to wait at home until she's ready and calls to let you know that? Or maybe do tough love? Tell her to be ready and if she's not when you get there wait a reasonable amount of time, say 15 minutes? Then leave. It sounds like she's trapped you under her thumb and you shouldn't be treated that way. A relationship goes both ways. Be prepared though in case things get worse before they get better. Good luck.