Yes, this used to happen to me a lot. I would get little high moments (that I now realize were not highs but just moments where I wasn't feeling stressed enough to cry) and then burst into tears, within the same day. I assume it is typical of depression. Contrary to what a quick Google search might tell you, this is not the same as bipolar disorder/depression. Most forms of depression are episodic, meaning you can have better days or better moments.
I am not sure I have good advice for the spiraling. If talking it out helps, you might want to set up an emergency talk agreement with a loved one and just give them a call or text when it happens. In terms of panic, I have found replicating an environment where I felt calm or conquered panic in the past also helps. For example, I go to the same room of my house, turn on my favorite TV program, and do yoga on the carpet. If you can train your brain to think of this as "normal" and something that you have handled many times before, it can help. I'm not making light of it--this practice took me 6 years to learn, and I have not perfected it. But my panic attacks have gotten noticeably better, shorter, and less frequent. Fingers crossed.
Obligatory not a medical doctor Statement. This has been my experience and my opinion is influenced by conversations with my neurologist.
Story of my life. I was diagnosed with ultra rapid cycling bipolar disorder ( say that 3 times fast) I didn't even know it was a thing. But my moods changed rapidly throughout the day, several times a day. My brain was like my computer screen...too many tabs open. Meds have helped slow the moods down a bit, but it can still be frustrating. I could just start crying over the smallest thing, and then it would trigger a bigger thing that maybe happened in the past, so now i'm angry and letting everyone around me know it. Then I realize that I've been horrible and I feel depressed again and isolated, and panicky that no one will want to be around me...etc. I have had suicidal ideations come on so strong, and then my husband will talk me down and make me feel better, then my libido goes through the roof. I swear, it's the worst feeling. I hate to hear people say that those with mental illnesses are "crazy", but that is exactly how I feel sometimes. I am working with a therapist on trying to get out of the habit of living in the past, learning to forgive myself and stop worrying about things and people I have no control over. It is a work in progress, and not easy. But I feel good about the possibility of finally getting out of my own head and my own way. It's so frustrating to feel like that. I'm sorry you're going through it. But these moments will pass. Try to find something you like to do to distract your thoughts. That's the only thing that really ever helps me. I have just gotten up and walked out of the house to take a drive. I come back better than when I left. I wish I had one size fits all solution I could give you, but you have to do what works for you. Take some time and jot down some things that make you feel better when you are anxious or depressed. Go to your list when you're feeling that way and do something on it.
I'm not bipolar but what you said is exactly me. I still live or look back to the past and then also get anxiety about the future. She with suicide ideation. I don't have a therapist but I think it is about time for one.
Yeah...the hard part is trying to retrain your brain. This has been the hardest journey, and I'm still a work in progress. I will 41 next month and it's like I still can't tell if I'm coming or going. Lol
Indeed. I can honestly say the even though I have issues ( and boy do I have issues, lol) I still have a great sense of humor and I'm and extrovert by nature. I love people and I love doing and learning new things. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Tunnel just seems like it will never end sometimes, ya know?
I make fun of myself all of the time and some people don't get it. I'm not good at compliments either. I'll set the person down and point out where they are wrong.
May I ask what your therapist suggested to help you get over the past and any mistakes you may have made? That is a big one for me. Self-forgiveness is a big problem for me.
She basically said something I should have realized was common sense...past is the past. You can't change it, you can only forgive yourself and others and keep moving forward. Now I say that, but it is a work in progress. She didn't just say it and I was like "oh yeah that makes sense, I'll do that later"...umm no. I used to live in the past on a daily basis. I couldn't focus on what pedi have I'm the present because I was always so stuck in what I didn't do, do and regret, or things I didn't accomplish. Journaling, self reflection, self care, self affirmation... it's all about learning to accept yourself, forgive yourself, and do better from here on. When I start thinking of what I didn't accomplish or feel like a failure, I look at what I HAVE done. I've raised 3 great kids, I've gone to college, I've seen parts of the world that most people don't get to. It's like one of those things you have to catch yourself and check yourself if that makes sense. It's a long hard road, but it can be done. Big hugs...we all make mistakes. My dad always says "you can't always do the same thing and expect a different result"...just a little nugget of wisdom. Lol
For some reason my mind always focuses on what I should have, could have done in the past. I went to college, travelled a lot and am raising a child by myself. Most of the stuff I regret has to do with my daughter in what I could have done to make her life better.
I get that too. I was young when I had my first child and I had to learn as I went along. I spoiled him, and he was a very difficult little boy. I regret yelling at him when he was little, but I also regret spoiling him because he was a lazy kid. But he is a wonderful young man now and I must have done something right. Also, just to let you in on a secret, unless you were abusive or traumatized your daughter in some way...she probably doesn't even remember the things that you regret. My son always talks about the fun stuff we did and he appreciates the sacrifices that I made. He even thinks I'm fun to be around when 5 years ago he thought I was lame and didn't know anything because I'm "old". Kids are pretty resilient. I don't know your situation or your regrets, but seriously she is probably not dwelling on it like you are. Know what I mean?
I have many times. Are you being seen by a Dr or counselor? For me I hang on tight to the Lord. With out him I can't. Meditation, christian music, praising God. Breathing exercises. Be. Praying for you 🙏
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