Feeling low

[Dogmom1234]

I suffer from depression and anxiety. This past year and a half has truly left me at my worst. I lost my mom, my husband lost his father and work has been nothing but stress. I dont enjoy anything anymore. I have low self esteem. I am lazy. I cant motivate myself to do anything. I feel like a waste of space. I take medication and talk to a therapist, but i cant see anything positive about myself anymore. I feel like every day is a day that I just exist and nothing more. I cant convince myself to do anything but get lost in my thoughts. Tomorrow may be different, but today is really hard.

[Roxylox]

I definitely go through phases like you. I don't really follow a routine todo chores. I often just do the very basics until I get bursts of energy now and again.

I would say you are not alone in feeling unmotivated. I find it hard to make a real connection with new people, but I'm trying again now. Can you relate well to your husband.? As you both lost a parent you might be able to comfort each other.

As you say at the end of your post-tomorrow may be different. That would encourage me that you're hopeful. Hold onto that hope now.

[mentalcase]

It sounds like your medicine isn't working for you. You made have to try other meds until you find the right one. I know, we hate to take meds but sometimes we have to take them to get better. I've been on so many different meds through the years for my depression, bipolar, anxiety plus my other meds that aren't for my mental problems. They work for awhile and then quit. Medicines just aren't working for me and I'm tired of being depressed every day. I just started using CBD tincture and it's helping my insomnia and sure hope it helps my depression. We aren't lazy, it's our depression that makes us have no motivation or energy. I'm the same way. I can't and don't want to do anything but play games on my phone day and night. My housework and dishes don't get done and I can't even take care of my hygiene. Depression does this to us. Talk to your doctor to see if he will change your medicine. It does get better, just finding the right meds. Good luck and I hope you get to feeling better.

[Drakesisland in reply to mentalcase]

What is cbd tincture please Iv tried loads different meds for depression and anxiety nothing works and hardly sleep

[mentalcase in reply to Drakesisland]

It's something from a marijuana plant but it doesn't get you high. It really helps me to sleep and I think it's helping my depression because I'm feeling a lot better since my breakdown. I was depressed every day before and after. You can buy it at any store that sells it without you having to get a medical card. It also comes with THC in it to help you sleep but you have to have the card for it. I have a doctor appointment tomorrow to tell him I want to get the card. A doctor has to do paperwork for you to get it. The CBD also helps for anxiety, PTSD and many other things. Look it up on the internet and it will tell you a lot about it.

[lmg6469]

I have the same feelings most days. I do think that medication also has its downfalls. It's a vicious cycle. For me at least. Medication makes me tired, which causes me not to have the motivation and just want to sleep, which causes me to be depressed and angry with myself. Round and round....

[Marshall64 in reply to lmg6469]

Same here..

[Drakesisland in reply to lmg6469]

It’s awful feeling I wake at 4 and my stomach churns

[ChoosingHappiness]

Hello Dogmom1234,

I know this past year may have left you at your worse, but you need to remember...what got you through your worse time last time? You are still here, still going through the day to day motions - they may not be the HAPPIESS moments but you are getting through them. You are a warrior, warriors need time to heal from scars as well.

1% each day, that's all anyone can ask of you. Do 1% better each day, whether that is looking at a sink of dishes and you do 1 that day - next day do 2 - next day do 3 AND GUESS WHAT if you end up going back to 2 it's okay.

Each day is going to be a struggle, life isn't suppose to be easy - we see it with the animals outside. Each day the world is doing it's best to get to tomorrow. I go to work many times with my mask on - my mask that shows I got my s**** together but the reality is, i don't. I do my best and sometimes my best is going to the bathroom, having a small break down and getting back to work. Covid has brought a lot people to the reality of being alone and worst part is alone with their thoughts. You need to find distractions / uplifting things even if it is cloud watching. You got this and you have a community of people here like myself that are here to listen. YOU ARE NOT ALONE - as you can see when you read these replies / community. Remember, try to do 1% better each day - and you will soon find yourself back up to 50% and soon back to 100% stronger than when you started

[Iammesues in reply to ChoosingHappiness]

I’m a cloud watcher myself. Sometimes I drive to the park, but I can’t get out because I feel people staring, so I cloud watch from my car.

[TAPNewEngland]

I hear you as life gets in the way of a good time! Take baby steps towards regaining your confidence, self-esteem, etc. This is a marathon and not a race. You are doing the right things, including medication and therapy. Make sure you keep the therapist abreast with these thoughts and feelings. Have you thought about doing something nice for yourself? Watching your favorite TV show or movie? Re-read a favorite book? Try to do something you enjoy every day. Look for groups on Meetup or Facebook and surround yourself with positive people and try not to isolate yourself from the world.

[alifran72]

Sweet friend, I am so sorry you are feeling so low. Anxiety and depression can be debilitating. I, too, suffer from them. I would ask your medical doctor if he/she could increase your dosage or try another medication. I have also found that forcing myself to get outside and take a 5 minute walk does help. It often turns into a longer walk because I start feeling a little better. Do you have some good friends that you could reach out to? My girlfriends have been life savers for me. I am sending a huge hug your way right now

[SirGrits]

Hey Dogmom, your post really resonates with me. I go through stretches where I could right your post word for word. Hang in there. Stick with it. Try and separate a little from your negative thinking patterns to loosen their grip on you.

In hindsight, I've come to realize a random internet fad ended up helping me. A few years ago I started Bullet Journaling. It wasn't for my anxiety/depression, it was to help get organized better and more productive. But my Bujo has been an anchor these past few years. Maybe it'll help you too? I didn't realize it was helping me in this area of my life until the past month or so.

Prayers girl.

[northernindianawoman]

We have all been through so much in recent times.... and your own personal losses added to that certainly (reasonably) add to that exponentially. OF COURSE you are struggling! How could you NOT be? The fact that you are seeking solutions (therapy, meds, being here, etc.) is a testament to your courage, strength, and determination. I promise, you are not alone. And all of those thoughts about you being worthless aren't real just because you are thinking them. You don't have to believe they are real, even when they feel like they are. There sometimes isn't a "fix" or solution ~ we just have to experience the grief, loss, sorrow.... the only way out is through. Don't avoid the hurt... it's telling you something. (To feel loss so deeply shows that something once was there ~ that is quite special, really.)

Some people find Journaling helpful... just keep trying things until something helps, even if just a little. All you have to do is the next right thing FOR YOU. Lean on those in your world that love and support you... sometimes cycle of being there and participating in the give and take of such relationships helps us too. (Both as we give and as we take) Allow yourself joy as it finds you... invest in what you can, and push yourself toward what makes you happy as you are able. Sometimes it's two steps forward and a step backward... sometimes the momentum just keeps compelling us forward... it's all a dance ~ we simply have to show up and participate. I truly hope you find what works for you, and are able to recognize the tremendous beauty and power in the person before you in the mirror. You are worthy of so much more. You've GOT this, even when it feels like you don't.

If all you can do is be the best Dog Mom there is to your furry baby, do that with everything in you. And see yourself as that precious fur baby does.... with nothing but love.