I am feeling suicidal right now, so I called the Nat'l Suicide Hotline and spoke with someone for several minutes who was kind and sweet and I appreciate him but it had little effect on my hopeless mood. I won't make an attempt on my life - I have a dog and a boyfriend and I don't want to leave either of them, so I am just going to sleep. The past year has been one of extreme schizoaffective, anxiety, ADHD and PTSD symptoms. I'm a recovering alcoholic and addict, so throw in a nice heap of shopping and eating addictive behavior on the pile for good measure. I get so wrapped up in my damaged head & spirit whenever I am alone. I feel like my life is falling apart and I'm too depressed and anxious to stop it from happening. I can't even take solace from the suicidal ideations like I used to. I think about it, but then I become quite aware that I won't kill myself because I won't intentionally take myself away from my dog. This makes me feel trapped. It really, really, really sucks. Thanks for listening, good night and peace.
Distressed: I am feeling suicidal right... - Anxiety and Depre...
Distressed
Sorry you're hurting so much. I'm glad you rang someone. It is inspiring to me as I struggle to contact anyone when I'm low (which is ALOT). Goodnight. I hope you sleep well.
Thank you for your kind words. Bless you and peace to you.
ooooh why dont u send a nice note dolphin and luna- they are always here for us............can u help me send some notes to them..........bet u have great ideas.........let spoil them for a change........hey lets plan a party for them.............for real.........fun to be outrageous.................ilke they say............just ...do it
Hello, thank you for sharing.
Why is that feeling always there like our shadow? Once the option for those thoughts became real to me I could never shake them from that moment forward. It’s always an “option” to me.
Sounds like you can relate. I’m so sorry for that.
I have 4 dogs that I love so dearly. I have a wife and sons which i struggle daily to be present.
I’m at the gym at 8:35pm to fight off those waves of sad energy.
I just coached a youth lacrosse practice and forgot about the bad stuff for an hour.
They are not lying when they say idle hands are the devils playground.
I ate Vicodin for 8 years most days and at 37 years old I would take a few swigs of vodka in between beers.
Now I have other more healthy ways to reset and focus. Bless you in your journey traveler🙏❤️
It's so relieving to know I'm not alone. It hangs so heavy on me these days and I don't give myself very much to do, I work from home now but feel too bad to work much over the last year. Being prone to depression and laziness at the same is surely the devil's combination. You are so right and I know I must push myself to do healthy things as hard as it is, wanting to sleep all the time and being a snacking TV zombie only makes it worse. I rapidly swing back and forth on the hope meter, but I know if I just stick it out until June 3 I will be able to talk with my psychiatric provider and hopefully get a medication change that will assist with mood and motivation.
You are kind to reach out and share a snapshot of your journey with me. May you and your family be blessed and peace to you.
It gives me such joy that you responded in such a positive and “look in the mirror” kind of energy.
I yearn to speak to people that hold themselves accountable. I need them to keep me going. You’re looking inward instead of blaming other forces. It lets me know that I can keep going and doing the same and I’m not alone or different for wanting to live that certain way.
Have a blessed day thank you so much
kind of said this with somene else........we all..........do better and so called laziness is the heavy blanket of ............bleh depression ...........kills any motivation ........however find a purpose............god tons of kids at st judes dying for a card or back at the hosptal....send cards to the people all alone and forgotten..........just like we know....then lets get off our duff and burry them with cards and letters......let them know they arent alone...........i have but i dont have time to do it all alone............so find a cause a purpsoe........save animals save whatever.........lots fo causes...........we all feel unneeded unwanted and ooooh soooo suprsiing our depression gets worse........find a group a club.........start amking christmas presents for the hosptials.......thnkn of them at chrstmas............welll we can make gifts fo the them and send them or cards or to st judes..........moderate exercise dont think of oooh have to exercise.........no u dont............but............hey stayhing healthy means i can just keep moving to send those supprt letters to the hosp or nursing hiomes or food banks ...........or st judes........try not to thinkn of it as exercise.........but just move............just stay semi busy.............then its easy if we have a purpse..........welcome to disagree............just a thought................welcome to disagree
hey we coud walk to raise money for st judes.........easy to send them cards or servie men and women..........boy arent they for gotten........take care.........know its very easy for me to say.........sorry.........there are people dying to get a post card just from u..........promise
Those are great suggestions. I need to pull out of the depths first. I don't do anything with joy now, it's just because I make myself. I am passionate about the causes you mentioned. Thank you and God bless.
honey-- try not to flog the great horse thats in u........life has been hard on u..........but ........only u............can relate........to others that are invisible unwanted etc........ur are here........for a purpose........u havent failed.....u dont need** to ........find a passion ...rebulid your fire after life has walked all over u and thrown water on your life coals........its NOT your fault its NOT your failiing........give your inner horse some carrots and groom him or her and take care of him a go rescue or help or give someone the time of day .............we all feel terrible about some things.............but rediredtion can work.........fool old man blues..........we allllll have them.............sooooo what we are our bestest besttest bestest budedies and freinds here...........we alll get down in the dumps.........they teach us to talk about our feelings fine............but ................heck...............st judes kids......dying for cards is the tomater of tomaters of tomaters.........and refires us up without flogging ourselves......it pulls us forward not thrashes us.............or whatever fires u up................utube has hilaroious comedy like the ventrilicsous people ...............or do something fun for yoursel for nice for uour or what u would recommend for somethie else hurting etc.............we all...............are human here...................everyone has helped me big time...........no one ever. ever ever ever ever laughs when we feel down .......we alllll can relate and all ..........pull eachother forward as buds comrades and defeat old man blues.............however u want to say it............u are here for a reason.............tough life................go find uoru cause your purpose however is meaning for u................u help me right now.......ur..............hellping me..................right now this second and dont u believe ur not..........
lots of people have helped me......sometimes easier to see it from the outside.......yes u and we all deserve joy we e paid our dues and joy .......spreads to others doesnt it....so its not selfish........having joy is something ur doing for others.....and your god if u will.........make a joyful noise unto .......
take care gb too.......thank u .....help me pray for those who have helped me
I truly hope that eventually you feel better. Please don't do anything harmful to yourself. It is always the darkest before dawn.
True words, that it is and I must remember. Thank you, blessings and peace to you.
I totally get where you're coming from. I called a hotline once and I felt worse after. I'm here to chat if you would like...
Thank you! Blessings and peace to you.
You seem really strong...overcoming addiction...calling a hotline when you know you need help. Suicidal ideation is no joke...I have it too. I don't want to die...I just, like you, feel trapped. You just have to keep going. Suicide hotlines are ok but they are hit and miss....I once was put on hold because they had a "real emergency"....boy does that hurt! Anyway...stay strong! You can get through this!
pain pulls the clouds over and people just go to the abyss-its pain and suffering.......its real and it fool people tells them they are worthless and not wanted.............not true.......dotn listen ....a time not to listen ............dont listen to those thoughts..........that is nasty mean pain and suffering talking bad to us........ur all veryvery lkeable people ........wanted........lets make x mass presents or make life better for others or make cards...........whatever
try to find ....and im not*** sayng its easy- u need to find others and help them and they help u.............as u have the insights no counselor does..........i could use a pen pal.......pretty much alone in the word - hit me up ...ill bring the milk and cookies and u can too........or find someone u can talk to and hit it off with........try to forget all that stuff as your real friends will say- pass the salt please - want more popcorn-- how the movie? hey- lots of potentials or me........i need lots and lots of help on talking.....worked with animals too long.........got the sign language down but hey we can practice jsut talking and thats cool..................all those things are signs of coping with pain and suffering and hard life............ya...........so.............u will be there for others but prob dont feel needed or wanted.........super bad about yourself or whatver but animals ......never think that way...........they always say............hey .........what are we goint to do togday........etc.........take u for what u are ..........now............not the past..........u also have a lotot of loss with ur boyfreind if i understand .........caring people can be shattered..........ya..........so why wouldnt u be devistated...........why wouldnt u be overwhelmed with sadness or hurt or loss..............of course..........hopefuul with patience the clouds will go away...................nothgn wrong ...we all are human.............lots and lots andlots fo veryvery caring people here..............oh............phone call from the groups.............ten billion love shots and hugs................lots more to come ............
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