It’s all about self compassion. Keep ... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

87,605 members82,289 posts

It’s all about self compassion. Keep choosing to speak nicely to yourself.

Ubud2021 profile image
14 Replies

Say nice words to yourself. Be there for you. Talk to yourself like you are there for yourself. YOU have your own back. The emotions you feel are valid. You hear you. You see you. Okay, maybe you are shameful of some things. But choose to be nice to yourself. Don’t choose the easy choice of dwelling.

I’m not saying it’s easy, but This crazy healing journey I’ve been on, I’ve really recognized that self care is also being nice to yourself. Be compassionate with you. Talk to yourself like you’ll be spending the rest of your life with yourself.

It’s one thing I really struggle with. And it doesn’t come over night. It’s not a light switch. You have to choose everyday that your going to be nice to yourself. It takes a lot of practice. I’ve been at it for over a year and still find the easiest option is to start dwelling in my shit. Just remember, you have a choice. No, you don’t have a choice what pops in your head initially, but you have a choice to choose doing backflips and swan dives in your pool of shame/dwelling, OR, you can choose to say it’s okay, and work on something else. It takes awhile to not hold shame so closely to your heart. But maybe soon you will be able to put it in your pocket so that way you can free up some hand space to hold something more positive and hold THAT closer to your heart.

It’s the hardest thing I think we will ever have to learn. The hardest choice we will ever have to make. But, it’s also simple. Only you can change this. Keep choosing you.

🌙🌵🤍🪴

Written by
Ubud2021 profile image
Ubud2021
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
14 Replies
Hb2003 profile image
Hb2003

Good reminder ☺️ ❤️🙏 I love it

Ubud2021 profile image
Ubud2021 in reply to Hb2003

Yes, we forget this! I do all the time. Have a blessed night!

Hb2003 profile image
Hb2003 in reply to Ubud2021

Thank you to you as well ☺️🙏

CoryTrevor profile image
CoryTrevor

Thank you. I really needed to hear this. And I need more to practice it.

Ubud2021 profile image
Ubud2021 in reply to CoryTrevor

I needed to remind myself, glad it was a good reminder for others. 🤍

Rosepetal60 profile image
Rosepetal60

Thank you for sharing this. It is very good advice.

Ubud2021 profile image
Ubud2021 in reply to Rosepetal60

My therapist always asks me “were you being nice to yourself this week or swimming in your shit?!” 😂😂 at first, I hated it!! But now, I understand we are human. We’re programmed to feel shameful and be mean to ourselves. But we got this!! 💪☺️🤍

Looking_for_help profile image
Looking_for_help

My anxiety kicks in strong the moment I open my eyes in the morning. I've been going on this site before even getting out of bed, looking for others that are like me and to try to feel a bit connected and maybe not so alone. This was the first post I read today, and I might even read it throughout the day. Thank you for this :)

Ubud2021 profile image
Ubud2021 in reply to Looking_for_help

I feel you there! Always reassure yourself that okay, yes it sucks, but everything is fine. It’s just a feeling that will pass. And do something in the morning that helps calm you! I put on a pot of coffee, do a meditation, pet my amazing kitty and water my plants. Then I like to write down things that would be good for my soul that day. Wether it’s cleaning up a bit, going hiking, or putting on music and dance my heart out! I’m so happy that this post did some good for you. Have an amazing day! ☺️🤍

mauv profile image
mauv

Thank you Ubud. I have allowed my husband anger to effect me. He doesn’t except our emotionally disabled daughter. She is our daughter but he only talks to the normal one who has given us 2 granddaughters. How he talks about Sonya stresses me. I just pull myself out of that last Tues. This Wed I fell climbing a small stool I had painted a toile scene on. I spent hrs on it. Len came in the kitchen livid and told me I told you to not use the stool for climbing. He said He could take care of it and broke it. I told him it was not about him but me. I wanted the lighter stool to lift and I thought I could handle it. His anger has effected me again. I come out of the depression but my emotions have to go thru the process to heal. We are all on our own journey.

Ubud2021 profile image
Ubud2021 in reply to mauv

Oh gosh! I hope you are okay?! Any injuries? And I can’t imagine what that must feel like hearing him say those things about your baby. It’s extremely hard when others do and say hurtful things. When I need help managing my emotions, I like to write. What was it that upset me, why, what emotions I feel, what can I do about it. Processing emotions is very difficult! Just keep doing what you can for YOU. 🤍🤍

NoHoWarrior profile image
NoHoWarrior

You speak my language, Ubud2021!!! I'm right there with you. Self talk has been my key to mental well-being. It took quite a long time to learn to be nice to myself and do positive self talk.

What got me started was a Loving Kindness meditation, which focused on someone or something that I felt love for. At the time, I could not feel good stuff towards people, so I chose a hummingbird. The meditation guided me to stay with that feeling of love as long as I could.... then transitioned to extending that feeling to another person..... then extending it to myself. it felt so foreign and wrong in the beginning, but with practice, I learned to actually feel something positive about myself. I still struggle a lot with self esteem. Kinda figure I always will. But the self talk has certainly reduced my anxieties, fears, and self-loathing.

Ubud2021 profile image
Ubud2021 in reply to NoHoWarrior

Oh yes it’s such a simple method to use but yet SO hard to remind yourself sometimes! Especially in those dark spaces we get in and we don’t even care at that point what happens anymore. It’s such a long process but very doable. I still struggle with it! But I’ve been keeping a rose quartz in my pocket (it’s like my fidget spinner- haha) but it’s a great reminder to ground. A great visualization tool. And I set alarms on my phone with affirmations.

That sounds like a lovely meditation! I’ve found a few that really ground me quicker than others and you just have to play around and find what works best for you!

Itzallgood1 profile image
Itzallgood1

Very nicely put. It's hard somedays to tell ourselves good things. I guess like you said it won't happen overnite.

You may also like...

You are going to grow

dark things may seem You’re going to find the strength inside you to rise It’s okay if you don’t...

How do you get to relief? What is relief for you?

others. How are you? Are you okay? What do you need right now to have relief? Are you not...

Stepping Away from my Comfort Zone

of living. I don’t want that! What has life been like for you when you step out of your comfort...

Group Chats and Friendships

initially thought that maybe it was because I don’t work with them anymore so I don’t see them as...

Dark thinking ****trigger warning****

living. I’ve always run from challenges, things I think I may fail or make mistakes. Maybe it’s...