Two days ago, my boyfriend came home and was excited to tell me about something. He pulled out his phone and begun to show me pictures of an upcoming apartment building that be built and finished by fall 2022.
We’ve been talking about our own place and moving out for a while now since we live with my parents but as I had mentioned in my last post, I get nervous when my parents leave the house for half an hour, so now I can’t help but think how I’d be alone in an apartment building.
It’s not so much I’m scared of someone breaking in or anything like that (the amount of security it’ll have is actually very reassuring) it’s if I’m alone and something would happen to me or god forbid I freak out and can’t calm down.
I’m also concerned about when winter hits, like most people, I’m worst in the winter and I don’t know how it’ll go again, if I’m alone in the apartment for whatever reason.
We have a year to think about if this is something we want to do (and realistically if we can do it because I’m sure LOTS of people are going to be applying for an apartment).
The plus side is that it’ll still be in town and it’s not terribly far from my parents, maybe a 10 minute drive depending on traffic, and like I said, this place will have adequate security measures in place.
My boyfriend also suggested that maybe we move out with a friend, the friend in question is very nice and knows how I can be and has my back. We haven’t told him yet because we’re not even sure if we will get in or whatever, money’s not an issue because my boyfriend got a raise at work and is making decent money.
Despite all of these concerns and worries, I really would like to move out and move onto the next portion of my life. I don’t want to be living in fear and want to go back to enjoying life. Nothing against my parents or anything, we would just really like our own space and sense of responsibility. I think it would be good for me and get me out of this suffocating shell of fear even if it’s only a little bit.
I know that right now nothings set in stone and even then there’s still a year until the place is actually built but my mind is already going and not in a very positive way. I’m trying to tell the thoughts to shut up and trying to focus on the positives but it’s difficult.
No, I don’t have the proper amount of money nor resources to see any professional help and I’m honestly kind of tired of having to add that into nearly every post but it is what it is. I also am not on medication and after my last stint with it I would rather not. The only medication I’m trying to get in right now is for my ADHD, the line ends there.
I hope everyone is doing well considering what’s going on and that everyone is taking care of themselves the best that they can.
Drink water. Make sure you get something to eat. Eliminate those toxic people from your life. Practice self care. Make the appointment. Take your meds. Be gentle with yourself.
Take care 🖤
Depression, endless overthinking
Tension or anxiety or overthinking headaches
Overthinking & Apologizing for Everything 
Does overthinking weakens your body?
