Newly single mom scared for babies health

[Torimilan]

I’m 25 6 months pregnant having my first kid with my now ex-fiancé. Ive always struggled with anxiety and depression but where I’m from it wasn’t common to reach out. When I was younger I went through the most traumatic things anyone could go through and I thought that once I got older I could just forget it. That hasn’t been the case. I got into a relationship with this man I shared all of me with him. He cheated on me for years and me being completely toxic argot tired of cryin mg to him and begging him I did the same. We both came to an agreement that we’d work to move forward. Fast forward a year he wants to have a baby. I love him I’ve always wanted a family I never got the chance to have one. If I knew that he’d treat me like I didn’t matter I wouldn’t have subjected my baby to this. I’m not allowed to speak to him unless it’s good things or we fight, I’m not allowed to ask him questions about his actions or I’m a b**** or a crack wh***. We don’t even live together haven’t for 2 years all of my pregnancy I’ve been by myself. All I asked of him was to effectively communicate with me. Tell me when things bother him without going to the extreme. I don’t ask for money. I started and paid fir my nursery alone. Everyday is getting harder I feel like a failure. I just want my little girl to have her dad. It’s gotten so bad I have to force feed myself so baby can eat. He hates me for doing to him what he’s done to me for years. He put a gun to my head when he found out. But I forgave him so this is my fault and if I didn’t have my angel baby to care for and love I don’t know that I’d want to be here anymore.

[hypercat54]

So exactly what do you love about this man? The way he talks to you, the way he treats you, the way he calls you names. The way you pay everything for his child? Putting a gun to your head? What exactly are you getting out of this relationship?

This man is a controlling abusive monster and you must escape him before he physically hurts you (or even the baby). There is a name for people like this - narcissist. Google it and you will see it accurately describes this man's behaviour.

Get away and keep you and your baby safe.

laughingatnarcs.com/narciss...

[Mumma_h]

Oh darling , you are worth so much more than to have this man play with you like that . He should grow up and give you the support you deserve!!! I was in a very mentally abusive marriage and I stayed with him until he’d completely destroyed me , my sense of self , my self esteem EVERYTHING. My husband was terrifying but was careful not to hit me so he couldn’t be found out . I blamed myself because I wanted him sooo much , so so much , I’d do anything to keep him and for my children to have their father. I read a thing recently about mental abuse and trauma bonding , which I hadn’t heard of before, but it jumped out at me and made it very clear what he’d done to me . Don’t worry about your baby girl, this will only make you stress more , she will be just fine with all your love , and you clearly love her very much already. Also just a word of advice , I was a wonderful mum but I was told by my ex I wasn’t, and my mother in law and everyone was quick to put there hand up and offer their opinion, no one was quick to help . From one mum to another, believe in yourself, trust yourself, be confident in your mothering because only you know what’s best your baby and your maternal instincts will kick in , they already have . I just don’t want anyone to go through what I did , ii thought if I just did this right or said that right or had a better attitude then he would change , but he was heartless and all but destroyed me . I hope you can find the courage to believe in yourself , if something is wrong, call it out , don’t be afraid!! It’s him that will miss out not you !!!💕💕💕🙏

[hypercat54 in reply to Mumma_h]

I am sorry to hear about all this. You now know it is much better for your children to have one loving parent than have two with one who is an abuser. If someone abuses you then you can bet your bottom dollar they will abuse the children too in one way or another.

[kvolm2016]

I'm so sorry to hear about all that you are dealing with and glad you came here to share what is going on. Since you mention that you are from a background which does not encourage reaching out for help, it is so good that you are recognizing that you are in a situation that you must get some help. If a person who is supposed to be an ally and partner to you puts a gun to your head in their anger, you are wise to be scared for both yours and babies health. No matter how much you love him, he is not a safe person to be around at this point. And in the midst of a situation like this, with so much emotion and volatility you may not fully recognize what you are dealing with. This counseling website has a survey you can take on their home page to get info about dealing with emotionally abusive relationships: leslievernick.com/ So I hope you will look into this for both you and baby!