So I’m friends with this guy. Been friends with him for like 3 months now. And it’s been great. Honestly really great. Best friendship I’ve had in years.
But the problem is, he’s kinda finicky with replying to messages. And he told me he was from the start, so logically I know I shouldn’t take it personally. However anyone with anxiety knows that logic goes out the door when anxiety takes over.
We have an almost 40 day streak on Snapchat so obviously communication is there but some days it feels very one sided. Like we’ll have a good convo for 5 minutes then that’s it for the day. And I’m always the one left on delivered or opened.
For a while, I was left in opened a lot. And what always seemed to happen is I would coincidentally get on Snapchat as soon as he opened it and see “Opened Just Now” then be waiting for a response but never get one.
So I decided to take the humor approach and send him a funny meme of like “when my friend leaves me on opened,” to kinda broach the subject. He laughed about it and I thought well at least I know he doesn’t get upset with me mentioning it. But then he kept doing it and I couldn’t very well send a meme every time.
And I even managed to ask in a conversation like “so are you on your phone a lot?” just to see and he was all “oh yeah way too much.” To which I said “huh. So you’re just ignoring me then. I see.” Trying to keep it light and funny you know. He just said “no no no of course not.”
Now that’s twice I’ve brought it up and it still keeps happening. And I know logically that he’s busy and he has his own friends and I definitely don’t want to be that person that gets mad when people don’t reply. But like...my anxiety is unbearable about it. All that goes through my head is “he doesn’t think I’m interesting.” Over and over again.
The problem is, right now I see him twice a week in person for a class. But summer is literally two weeks away and I’m honestly terrified that I will lose contact with him.
I’ve dreamt of having a guy friend for years just because I’ve always gotten along better with them, but with a girl I could bring this stuff up and it not seem weird. With a guy, it’s different.
How do I bring up “touchy feely” stuff without it being “touchy feely?” And how do I bring it up without me seeming high maintenance?
Or even better, how do I manage the anxiety that’s coming along with this whole thing?