Sheer panic!!!

[Lovedogs0877]

I get sheer panic when leaving my apt. That's why I stay in apt every chance I get. I never go anywhere unless its grocery store or dr appts. Anyone else suffer from debilitating panic disorder?

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer]

Hi Lovedogs.. It’s great that you can make it to the doctor and the grocery store. Can you think about what makes you able to go to those places and apply that to going elsewhere?

[Lovedogs0877 in reply to Catsamaze]

I have no one. Never married no kids. Nobody so I only go to grocery store when absolutely necessary. Or dr appts. I hate it cause I get super freaked out. My hair doesn't style so it's a mess as if I just woke up it's so bad. Plus I sweat profusely which soaks my hair making anxiety so severe I'd rather be gone. I never get a break in life. When I say never I truly mean never!!!! So I have no one to depend on. It's a scary miserable way to live. In life everybody treats me like I've got contagious diseases and treat me like crap. Theyll stare me down first then turn and walk the other way. Ppl do everything and anything to avoid me!!! This is not exaggerating I'm dead serious. I'll probably never leave my apt for anything ever again.

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer in reply to Lovedogs0877]

I’m sorry you’re suffering so much. You deserve better than that.......

[Lovedogs0877 in reply to Catsamaze]

Thank you! I dont know why life has to be so extremely hard. Plus dealing with all my other medical problems just wears me down to where I cant even function. I didnt think either that I deserve so much pain. I'll never understand why life is like this and why ppl continually hate my guts even tho I'm kind all the time. I'll just never know.

[Sankissjuice]

Can you get a friend or family member to walk you out of the apartment? While holding your hand, talking to you to distract yourself. It worked for me last time.

[Lovedogs0877 in reply to Sankissjuice]

Lol I have nobody. Do not know anyone here in vegas. Ppl always do everything and anything to hate my guts. I wrote the same answer above. Just so i dont have to write it all again. Lol. The only family nearby is my mom who's two and a half hours away. I rarely see her and shed never help me like that so i really have no one. Never married and no kids. I'll probably never leave my apt ever again.

[Sankissjuice in reply to Lovedogs0877]

Same here. Never married and no kids. I had a few friends who helped me. One time I pushed and made it all the way to the elevator. You can do it too! It is impossible for you to remain the same way. You either get better or worse. So prepare yourself to get better.

First: Have a strong intention to heal. Then everything else will fall into place slowly. Keep going to the doctor and grocery. At least, you still do those visits.

[Lovedogs0877 in reply to Sankissjuice]

I only do those two things cause I need to eat and go get prescription refills for 5 meds. If I didn't I'd never leave! That's good to know that someone else has never been married no kids. Thought I was the only one lol. I just cant put up with ppl being so rude that my anxiety gets so severe I end up balling my eyes out and run back inside apt. I've never really gone out never do anything due to panic. I feel like I'm lower than pond scum. That's how everyone treats me. I'd just rather be gone!!! Tired of humiliation, pain and embarrassment. I cant take it one more second!!

[Sankissjuice in reply to Lovedogs0877]

No.1 you are not pond scum. I used to believe I am garbage because I got used so often.

Then I went to Unity and they do affirmations. So now I am a divine child of God.

No.2 If you are still showing so many symptoms, have you told your doctor or thought about changing your meds?

No.3 Lots of women and men are not married, with no kids. Plenty!!! We are in good company.

No.4 I think you have such a beautiful smile and what lovely eyes. So blue and sparkly. Have you generously given yourself positive self talk? Try it.

No. 5 You need to eat and get medicine, true. Bravo for going out. You also need love, respect, compassion, loving kindness, warmth etc. Start by giving those qualities to yourself. Can you do that?

Sending you love and a big, warm hug.

[Lovedogs0877 in reply to Sankissjuice]

Thanks. Affirmations just dont do it for me. They never have unfortunately. I'd go to church close to me but I've even been completely ignored at churches I've gone to in the past.

I'll never understand why ppl have to hate me so much. I'm nice and kind and dont deserve such hatred!!!

I have psych nurse and I stay on the meds I'm on cause they work the best. I cannot take anti depressants cause they have caused so many seizures cause I have epilepsy. Theres really no other meds to take cause soooo many affect epilepsy and I'm driving again now so i have to be careful.

Thank you for your kind words! I truly appreciate it!!

I have never ever gotten respect or kindness from ppl only hatred and this has been since 3 years old. I remember it clearly like it was yesterday. So hatred for 45 years is not easy to take. I wonder why I'm still nice to ppl. Im at my wits end tho.

Thanks for the love and hug! Same goes back to you😁💜💜

[kenster1]

hi lovedogs sorry to hear of your suffering but glad your back and reaching out.

[Lovedogs0877 in reply to kenster1]

Oh hi kenster1!!! I remember you I think!!! Yeah I'm so glad to be back indeed!!!

[kenster1 in reply to Lovedogs0877]

yeah old timer but young at heart sure I messaged you on your old account about Christmas time but my message system wasn`t working and it didn`t show up.

[Lovedogs0877 in reply to kenster1]

Oldie but goodie!!! I cant seem to find old acct at all so had to start a new one. Haven't been on here for years. Just glad to be back!!!