Boyfriend troubles

[livvvvvvv20]

He loves me he says.. but does not act like it.. We are long distance so things are hard. He is always busy and ignores me for days but then walks back in like nothing was wrong. I love him with everything in me but he is slowly tearing me apart.. I just don't want to loose him but at the same time I am going crazy. Like last night I got in a fight with my mom and just wanted him to tell me it was okay but he was not there. I can't keep hiding my depression from him like I do for everyone else.

[YouareBeloved99]

Hi there! My first question is how long have you guys been together?

My ex-husband and I dated long distance for about a year so I understand how difficult it can be. And that was pre-COVID so I imagine there are additional struggles dating that way now.

One thing I've learned the hard way over the years is to watch actions. Words are easy. Actions over the course of time are the proof. I have dismissed actions a lot in the past because of the same reasons you mentioned... I was in love and I didn't want to lose him. In the end, it caused me incredible heartbreak. I put up with things I probably shouldn't have because I thought we could work through them. I even started going to counseling when I had been dating an ex for 6 months because I wanted to figure out how to work through things. What I didn't realize at the time was that if I needed professional therapy to deal with someone's behavior after only 6 months, that probably should have been a red flag. But I really hate giving up and really wanted to make it work.

[Hidden]

Hey there!

I totally get what you're going through. My boyfriend tends to do the same thing as well. He won't talk to me for hours and hours, and then come back, and act like everything is fine, and that I shouldn't be upset. It kills me when he's away for so long, and then doesn't acknowledge my pain because it doesn't matter to him.

One thing I think has helped me is actually talking about how I feel with him. Telling him what makes me upset and how it can be helped in my opinion makes it less painful for me. It is totally up to you on what to do, but I would recommend talking to him about how you feel, and telling him that it hurts you when he doesn't talk to you for days. Because he really should not expect that to be okay, because it really is not. Being in a relationship means putting time and effort into it, and he needs to be doing that too.

My boyfriend and I have been doing better since I opened up to him about how I felt about him being gone for hours upon hours. I really would recommend that you two talk about it as well. Of course, every relationship is different, but it is definitely worth a try. And I'm not trying to be harsh, but I think that if he continues the same behavior, then I think you should maybe reconsider being with him. Because you deserve to be loved and cared for, just as everyone does.

Of course, I am always here if you want to talk about anything. We all love you and care about you, and we want to help you any way we can. <3