Trouble in the Workplace

[Kakee83]

I have a major issue with confrontations around my supervisors and the program director of the agency where I work at. Every time they meet with me to address a concern, I get extremely anxious to the point that I break down and start crying, which makes me look weak to them and emotionally unstable. I take my job very seriously and am very devoted to the children that I serve. Even so, I fear that my job can be taken away at any moment (I have already been written up twice in less than a year). The last meeting that I had with the higher ups was a really emotionally intense one. It ended up with me breaking down as usual, them telling me that I need a certification in order to continue working where I am and me disclosing the fact that I have severe Major Depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I am prescribed valium to relieve my anxiety, but I can't take it at work because I need to be very alert when working with children. Everything is fine when I am with the young and I enjoy what I do. But, when I am confronted with an issue by my supervisors/program director, things get too intense and I tend to lose control of my emotions.

[Blue_81]

Hello Kakee83

I can relate to you. Ive been having so much anxiety at work. It all started when I was change to a new program which I was excited because it meant that I was going to learn new things. However, my "mentor" just did not like me. He just always tried to make look bad despite my work being good, this went on for a few months. At the end I broke down and started suffering anxiety and I couldn't stop crying for a whole week. I felt that everything I did was wrong and not good enough. I got prescribed anti-anxiety medicine and that stopped the crying and feeling overly anxious. Started going to church, reading my Bible everyday, walking, seeking friends or people to talk to, taking vitamins, giving self-love, seeing a therapist. All this has helped and only take medication when my anxiety becomes too unbearable. The best three that has helped the most is going to a positive church, seeking friends that are understanding, and talking nicely to my self while taking a walk. I sometimes loose patience that im not over my mind being too anxious. But my wife reminds me that I didnt get to this moment in one day. Take care.

[Kakee83 in reply to Blue_81]

Thanks Tags 1891 for sharing your story about anxiety in the workplace and for giving me advice on what has helped with it. What anti anxiety medication were you prescribed?

[Blue_81 in reply to Kakee83]

Your welcome...I was prescribed lorazepam 0.5 mg and can take it twice a day. Only been taking it one a day when going to work. Sometimes I dont take it when my mind is strong and is relax. The weekends i dont take it. I just use as much of the tools to help calm myself. I been improving but still have a roads way to travel as i still feel my anxiety lurking inside. Ill keep you posted if i find something else that helps. Let me know as well if you find something.

[Kakee83]

I'll ask my psychiatrist about Lorazepam. I really can't take the valium at work. When I was taking it with my Cymbalta in the morning, I was spacing out frequently. Then, she said to take it at night and that way a little will still be in my system at work. It does relax me to the point where I could sleep, but I still wake up during the night. The good thing about it is that I don't feel tired when I wake up. However, it still doesn't help me get through the work day. The Mirtazapine also is good for sleep and with that I could definitely sleep through the night, but I don't like the feeling when I wake up. I need something that will last me through out my work day up until the point where I leave my job.

[Blue_81 in reply to Kakee83]

I also drink chamomile tea during work hours to help me relax. Although i miss my coffee but it was necessary to give it up as it makes you feel more anxious. Another thing I gave up is watching/reading the news, its mostly bad news and doesnt help my recovery. It is a battle every day but I keep using every tool i have access to get my health back.

[Kakee83 in reply to Blue_81]

I love Chamomile tea! The down side about drinking tea is having to go to the bathroom. lol I also need to avoid the news. Thanks for making me feel like I am not alone in this.

[gogogirl in reply to Kakee83]

I wouldn't totally avoid the news- after all it is important to be informed- perhaps do it in smaller doses.

[Blue_81 in reply to Kakee83]

Your welcome...I felt that I was the only one affected. I sometimes tried to open up to other people by saying something small but I got responses like it's a phase or it's all in your mind. That's exactly right it's all in my mind and I cant stop it. But I'm glad I found this community where I can relate to others and share. Talking to someone makes a difference than keeping to yourself. Well take care and have a good day at work.

[gogogirl]

I have been there at a rough period in my life. Why not just get the certification if that is the issue that gets you upset?

[gogogirl in reply to gogogirl]

I should add that it is good that you are addressing the other issues like the depression. I also have had rough supervisors that made it really difficult at places of work where otherwise it would have been pleasant. Now, all those years later I realize that learning more about myself, and alternative responses has been helpful- you know the old woulda coulda .

[Kakee83 in reply to gogogirl]

Yeah... I spoke to the trainer and will either meet with her on Wednesday or Saturday for 5 weeks. Thanks for your support and advice, gogogirl.

[gogogirl in reply to Kakee83]

Well, that is really good news. Now, I have to tell myself things like that too! My cases are different, but we're all interconnected. Good to hear from you as well.

[gogogirl]

First of all to continue, I am sorry that you break down with the supervisors. I have had issues with anxiety, and still use 5 htp and gaba which one can buy at a health food store. I have had at least some of the issues you have stated when other things were going on. How much is involved in getting the certification? Also, you mention that you have been written up- I imagine they used it as a disciplinary action. Could you talk to a local Voc Rehab agency to see if they have suggestions? It sounds like you are good at your job, you like it, but these supervisors for some reason pose a threat. Supervision can be scary when people are are sometimes not a match. Also, how do other co workers handle the supervision? Sometimes that can be helpful too if they are supportive. You have proven that you can work which is certainly a start.

[Kakee83 in reply to gogogirl]

My supervisors are supportive and I do love working with children and the children seem to like me. The thing is that I have issues expressing myself appropriately to my supervisors and when I get anxious, I cry. They are understanding with me and told me that everyone has things they need to work on, thankfully. They see how hard I work and how I relate to the children, so they know that I am very dedicated.

[gogogirl in reply to Kakee83]

That is wonderful- it's nice to have people in your corner.

[TAPNewEngland]

Do you have an HR department? If so, meet with them and find out if they have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). You can get free help including counseling. If you have a diagnosis, you will be protected by law and your job cannot be terminated. In the short/long run, you will need to determine if this place is a trigger for your emotions. If so, start looking for new work. That's what I did and I'm doing really well.

[Kakee83]

We do have an HR department and I will definitely find out if they have an Employee Assistance Program. I've always had an issue with my emotions in the work place. This is the first job (of many) that I didn't quit because my emotions got out of hand. I realize that (after many attempts in the workforce) working with children is definitely my calling and I am grateful that my supervisors and the program director are willing to work with me. I completely changed careers because I wasn't happy and now I finally found my place career wise. I just have to keep my emotions in check by regularly seeing a therapist instead of canceling, continue to see the psychiatrist and taking my meds. I also need to take care of myself more so that I won't act on impulses.

[RAME1965]

Sorry to that i am facing the same problem. If any arguments comes, i shouted like anything but others speak normal eventhough they get irritated or anger. Bcoz of my nature and weekness, when i see others i feel ashamed.

i am taking medicines for the last 15 years. One time i was kicked of my dept but in the same office Group.

Now for the last six months everyweek some event is coming and i am in the same manner. Even some people know my weekness and started teesing with small talks and i could not keep my mouth shut.

Anyone have any advise please.