I need advice.

[FranklyKoi]

Is it wrong that I want to break up with my boyfriend of 7 years? I just feel that it's lost it's spark, but he still seems so dedicated.

[hypercat54]

Right or wrong doesn't come into it. It's how you feel that's important. If you aren't in love with him anymore then leave. It takes 2 in a relationship to dedicate to each other otherwise it's no go I'm afraid.

I presume you have talked to him and seen if anything can put the spark back into your relationship? If not then maybe try this first.

[FranklyKoi in reply to hypercat54]

No, we haven't really talked about it. We used to argue during the midst of COVID because he didn't have a job for over 6 months and I was supporting us the whole time. I feel I've supported us our entire relationship. He moved in with me in high school. I love him, but I'm starting to think it's not in the sense he does. I just feel terrible. I'm not sexually attracted to him anymore. I just feel confused.

[Choctawgirl in reply to FranklyKoi]

You do what you think is best, but it sounds like you two need to sit down and discuss all this. I get your frustration with him not having a job, but does he feel just as bad?

[FranklyKoi in reply to Choctawgirl]

He recently got a job about a week ago, and I hoped it would change how I feel, but it didn't seem like much changed. It just seems like I'm gonna have to just bite the bullet and talk to him. And hope he doesn't over react and spiral and cause a fight.

[Choctawgirl]

Have you talked to him about any of this? Communication is key!

[FranklyKoi in reply to Choctawgirl]

I'm scared to. He's a very over dramatic person. He'll stoop to the whole you just don't love me, I'm not good enough, type speech, and that's not the case at all.

[Choctawgirl in reply to FranklyKoi]

That's not cool. And that's not being a mature adult either. There's a word for people who do that to others...ugh...I can't think of it! But he needs to grow up! Maybe you could say something along the lines of...we need to talk about you and your job. Is there anything I can help you do to help you get a job?

[FranklyKoi in reply to Choctawgirl]

Something. It just sucks because I don't even know what I want out of the relationship. I wouldn't even know where to begin or what to even ask for.

[Choctawgirl in reply to FranklyKoi]

Hmmm.....It sounds like you need some time to yourself to figure that out. Then try and talk to him. Are you able to support yourself? Do you two have any kids?

[FranklyKoi in reply to Choctawgirl]

We don't have any kids, just 2 cats we've adopted. We live together, have for years. I just wish things like this were easier.

[Choctawgirl in reply to FranklyKoi]

Ugh... All I can say is....the ball is in your court. You have to do what you think is best for you. If you're not happy...the relationship won't be happy.