feeling small

[gabrielle00]

(venting session) i used to make noise. i would listen to music aloud through the speakers, i would sing and play guitar. i would laugh and cry without fear of anyone hearing me. now i just dont do those things anymore. days go by without me listening to a single song, i compare myself to the music artists i like because i feel like i’ll never be able to achieve my dream and sing for a career. i cant even sit down & write a song. fuck all i do is stay in bed and watch tv. every little thing like brushing my teeth, eating, and getting up is daunting to me. i was supposed to wash my hair and get it done this morning but I literally couldn’t get up. my mom said we can just do it later in the week but i can tell she’s stressed. im causing so much stress with my parents. theyre trying their best but im so resistant. wow i used to be so productive and high achieving. i dont even recognize myself anymore—did i ever? i thought 20 would be the age where i finally understood who i was. now i have not a clue

[Hidden]

Hi there

I am happy yu are realizing things that you need to do. Depression is a demon and it always feeds on hope. I seem to know what u want to do. Force yoself buddy. Have u tried medication to help with the energy? U can not fight depression on ur own, u need external help. We are here for u

[gabrielle00 in reply to Hidden]

hey! thanks for your response. yes I am on prozac and have been for 5 weeks but it’s still hard to get motivated enough to get out of bed and exercise. it seems like im too familiar in my own sadness. have u felt this way before?

[Hidden in reply to gabrielle00]

No. Most of time I'm energetic. Maybe meds are kicking in, let wait and see what happens. Please keep us posted,, there are many in this site who are like you. I am sure they will give you advice