OCD sufferer and feeling isolated

[AmeliaA5060]

Ever since I can remember I have suffered with OCD i struggle with germs and dirt, for example putting on my own shoes I will wash my hands or use hand gel. My family have never really understood they think it was a phase I should of grown out of years ago and now they even get angry with me. I feel alone and isolated I find it easier to be by myself, I have become very depressed and have extremely low self esteem. My hands have now become dry and cracked I get asked all the time is I have a skin condition because of it. I'm lost and I really don't know what to do anymore

[Hidden]

Hi and welcome to a supportive community! Can you try talking to your family about your condition and maybe encourage them to read up about it? Do you have a therapist? If you do, maybe you could have your parents go with you sometime? Or the doctor? These are my thoughts.

[Hidden]

Welcome to the group. What you are going through is sad and I am sorry. I agree with Minnimouse about having to sit them down and explain to them that it is not your fault. How I wish we were not ignorant. It is not wrong to lack knowledge but when someone else is suffering because of it, then I hate it. I hope they come around. Welcome again

[JP8810]

Sorry to hear of your dilemma. I would suggest getting some cognitive behavior therapy, in particular exposure and response prevention therapy. There are also several medications such as Luvox that can help. Know that you are not alone. Many people struggle with OCD. There is some free helpful info at the International OCD Foundation. Keep up the good work. Things WILL get better!

[AmeliaA5060]

Thank you everyone for the responses. I have suffered with OCD for about 12 years now at first my family thought it was just a stage due to domestic violence in the family however I have never grown out of it and only got offered help before the age of 18 now there is not a lot of help in my area. My family understands my situation but think I should of grown out of it and now become frustrated they don't like the thought of me still having this condition instead of supporting me they now get angry. I have never been prescribed any medication

[Hidden]

Hi Amelia,

I just want you to know there is hope, I use to suffer from OCD. I had what I called CHIC, Checking, Hoarding, Intrusive thoughts and Contamination.

From all the documentaries I've watched on OCD , it is born from trauma. It's only in your last post you have mentioned domestic violence. The effects of that trauma is PTSD and I think the symptom that has manifested itself in you is OCD.

Some people drink, others take drugs, others cut themselves to deal with the pain, trauma in them. I think you need therapy for PTSD and CBT.

I think you should Google the definition for PTSD and show your family.

[AmeliaA5060 in reply to Hidden]

I have never thought of the possibility of it being PTSD but doing a bit of research a lot the things I suffer with do come under that category. My family do not like talking about the past I have many of times tried to have this conversation with my family but all they want to do is forget. I struggle a lot with communicating with my family my mum used to suffer with severe depression she used to overdose on her medication atleast twice a year if anything gets brought up she then becomes depressed again and blames it on me this is why I tend to keep the way in am to myself now if she found out I am the way I am because of her letting out father in our lives for so long and letting us go through a lot she will just blame herself

[Hidden]

You can't blame your mother. Discussing the trauma will trigger her, reliving it again. Your mum is suffering from PTSD as are all of you. Sorry I didn't understand about letting your father out.

[AmeliaA5060]

My father was a alcoholic who used to like using his fists my mum has had treatment and she has been doing well for the past 5 years, growing up i pushed my health aside to help her through it all but now I'm suffering because of the past I feel like I haven't got the support I need from my family. Because I put them before myself and helped them get through their problems I feel like they aren't there for me and because it has been a long time since and i got good at hiding how I was feeling they expected me to just forget and move on but that's easier said then done

[Hidden]

You know you are the hero in your family. You saw and knew what was needed to help your family and it's because of your support they are able to function "normally." I know it feels they have let you down but the don't have the empathy and the understanding you have, and they aren't equipped to help. Evan just listening is beyond them because your opening old wounds and no one wants to relive the trauma. It's not that they won't, they just can't. If they won't go to therapy then you go. You have shown your strength. You will make a good therapist.

[AmeliaA5060]

I have always been told I'm the strong one in the family nothing can ever put me down im a fighter but deep down I haven't been the fighter I've just put everyone else's feeling and needs before mine and deep down I have been suffering in silence. My relationships are not getting affected I always feel like I'm not good enough and whoever I trust will let me down and break my heart I only feel convenient not wanted

[Hidden]

You don't know how wrong you are. You are a fighter because you fought for your family, you fought for those who needed your help. They leaned on you because you are strong. You might not have been fighting for yourself but you have been fighting for all of you and it's more of a responsibility and takes more energy so more stress. Now everything is ok all that adrenaline is spent and you're burnt out!Now it's time to take care of yourself. So don't dwell on why they can't.

Last month my friend called me and ranted. She ranted about how everyone always came to her for help and support, but when she needed it it wasn't returned. I said our skill of listening and giving support is born out of pain and we have a understanding others don't have so that's why we are more empathetic more patient. That's why people love this forum because it's a safe place to open up.

[AmeliaA5060]

I've only been on here a couple of days and I've had more support and understanding from people on here then my own family and friends. These past few months I have tried to stand back and put myself first but I have been called selfish by the people I thought would understand I think that's why I don't even try to talk to my family about what's going through my head. They have even stopped inviting me to family meals and things calling me boring and miserable and no one wants to be around me. I feel like its a massive kick in the teeth the one time I need my family to be strong for me because its all starting to affect me badly they put me down even more. My sisters have their own lives and families and I don't want to burden them with my problems. I just feel alone in all of this