Having a lot to say yet not able to say it

[Nokita_Chan24]

Have any of you undergone the same situation as me? It feels like I have many things to say yet not able to voice out because someone dear just ruined my mental peace by negative/unappreciated/blaming me thru long lectures .

How do you cope?

[Hidden]

Hi. Can you write it down?

[Nokita_Chan24 in reply to Hidden]

Hi minnie.. does that really help even if i am not at fault ?

[Hidden in reply to Nokita_Chan24]

Maybe. It's different for everyone, but writing things down has always helped me. It might help you too. It's just an idea.

[Nokita_Chan24 in reply to Hidden]

I appreciate your idea.. i will try to work on it.. thank you a lot.

[Hidden in reply to Nokita_Chan24]

You're welcome.

[Hidden]

What happened?

[Nokita_Chan24 in reply to Hidden]

Hello zoom.. in a couple life i guess both partners should participate equally to work out for the relationship. But in mine, i tend to work all ways to just make it worth but it's just on my behalf. No response on his side. I feel suffocated because i feel like i am depriving myself because am caring for him too much. Maybe i have forgotten to love and care for myself too.. i don't wanna lose myself. And in my couple life,i always get blamed for anything wrong that happen because in the past i did commited errors but doesn't mean i should be blamed for all always.

[Hidden in reply to Nokita_Chan24]

That is true. I have seen in many relationships that the strength of it usually relies on one partner. One person becomes the pillar of it. Very strange. I was watching a movie once by Martin Laurence titled: Thin line between love and hate. This movie, a woman was chased by Martin until he got what he wanted from her and then dropped her like a piece of cake. The woman realized that she was taken for a ride. She dealt so harshly with him that he almost died. Her reasons for doing so was, she was the only one carrying the relationship when it was him who pursued her. I know it is just a movie but it true. I hear ur story and I know that sometimes we become a couple that we forget who we are and when we no longer carry the relationship, we get blamed for it. So I get u there.

[hypercat54]

I would avoid that person as much as possible. If you have to be in close contact with them then you need to start setting some boundaries.

[Nokita_Chan24 in reply to hypercat54]

Hi dear. Am planning on doing that too. I am gradually trying to help myself out of this.. but it seems a bit difficult because that person is boyfriend since 10 years. And now i feel the urge to work out just for me.

[lawdog in reply to hypercat54]

Your suggestion is a good one; may not be easy to do, but a very good one.

[hypercat54 in reply to lawdog]

Nothing worthwhile ever is.

[lawdog in reply to hypercat54]

Amen, my woman friend, I agree. Cold where you are? I know it must be. Hope all is well with you. Always warm here for our winter, a pleasant break from the tropical heat, so am able to walk or ride my Catrike and exercise my dog before dark. Helps to clear one's head because it's pleasant social distancing and can talk with neighbors walking or riding bikes with their children on the sidewalks, while the dog and I are on the road nearby.

[hypercat54 in reply to lawdog]

Yes I am in the UK and it is our winter. I am lucky in that I live in the South West and it is generally warmer than most areas. But as it is very hilly and by the sea those winds are horrific. We currently have the 'beast from the East' cold wind direct from Siberia and most places have snow. Not here thank goodness. I can't wait for the summer and we had a fantastic one (for a change) last year.

We have been in lockdown again since the New Year and everything apart from essential shops are closed I am just waiting and praying for my vaccination and hope life can return to more normal asap.

Can you send me some of that nice warm weather please?

[lawdog in reply to hypercat54]

Yes, I am sending you some of our excess warm straight away. We are continuing to need the central air on today, so I have requested the local weather person to verify the subtropical air has sufficient notice to move across the Atlantic gradually as not to suddenly upset any wildlife not acquainted with heat in the winter. Could you please send some of your snow here as most children have never seen it here and must skate inside a building designed for the professional ice hockey team...but the team did win the Stanley Cup this year..that's a huge championship win on our continent. I am scheduled to have my first inoculation Sunday morning. The second is required in three weeks. Am realistic and not anxious about it. It will not necessarily prevent me from contracting COVID19, but should make the symptoms much milder should I have that misfortune. I have no control over that, but like you, have been in home lockdown for almost a year now, practice social distancing even to get the mail, wear the face mask, and no one other than family and our dog has been in our home since last March. I join you in the wish that the entire world comes out of this pandemic safe and sound soon. My best to you and yours.

😇

[hypercat54 in reply to lawdog]

Thank you very much and the same to you and yours You must be in the clinically vulnerable group to get your jab so soon. I have lung disease so am a priority but not considered extremely clinically vulnerable but it should be in the next week or so hopefully. They are just starting my group now.

I live alone so the only real chance I have to get out is to go shopping which I do most days. I would go stir crazy trapped at home on my own. With this new variant though I m getting increasingly paranoid and am more careful than before.

Can't wait for all this to over! x

Ps. Do you have to pay for your jabs there? I don't in the UK.

[lawdog in reply to hypercat54]

The US provides the "jabs" free to us also. That's what our Federal income taxes pay for I suppose. I think the grading of clinical priority is different in the US than in yours. You would definitely be at top of the line ahead of me to receive your vaccine here now. The first responders and the elderly in nursing homes were first, then people over age 60, I think, with some serious issues...particularly lung issues. Whoops. I have no idea of your age so don't be offended. The COVID19 is particularly dreadful on the lungs even after one survives it. Even our very controversial now EXpresident suffered lung damage after all the extremely high-end medical care he received after contracting that virus.Homes here are really voluntary shut down...no shopping outside where there are many people. Very quick darts into the grocery and home again. Around 5 p.m. when the sun is no longer high, many of us walk or ride bicycles around the neighborhood, as that is the only way we are going to get any exercise or safe social distancing and a break from our home and yard. Have a friend in Australia who feels as though she is in jail. Her country is not letting people leave or enter and heard on the news no vaccine has yet been requested or accepted there. The government feels locking the world out will continue to protect them.

Like you, I wish good health and sufficient face masks for everyone.

😎

[hypercat54 in reply to lawdog]

No worries. Here it's the residents of care homes, carers, medical staff first. Then it was based on age. Over 80's first, then over 70's and the extremely clinically vulnerable ie those with severe lung disease etc. of any age,I come in group 4. Over 65's and all who are vulnerable (both of which I am) and they are just starting those now in my area. I don't know how they are doing group 4 ie age first or illness.

A friend of mine at 41 has bad asthma and has been in hospital in the last 12 months has already has his. Whilst I at 3 years off 70 with both asthma and copd are obviously considered at less risk which is crazy. My friend seems fit and healthy and can walk miles. I can't or anywhere near that. So I am a bit miffed!

My doctors has me down as mild copd but I have not been able to have a breathing test in the last year or so for obvious reasons and the nurse reckons I am probably moderate now based on my symptoms. I dread catching covid coz I think it would make me very ill. I'm just trying to avoid it until my jab.

[lawdog]

Hello. Relationships are not helped by the stress of the COVID19. But sounds as though you have had a difficult relationship all along. Deciding what alternatives may help is difficult. After being where we are basically in house lock down since March 2020 and now it's February 2021, nerves are frayed at times. Please take care of yourself.

[Hidden]

By ignoring the negative people in your life. It's your life not theirs and if you wish to say something then don't let those people control you. Unless you wanted to say something really stupid and derogatory. And they have your best interests at heart.

[Nokita_Chan24]

Thank you all sincerely for your advices. 😊

[Lazy_dog_lover]

I am sorry that your friend crossed that line of being "not helpful". Did you express your feelings that that is not what you need?