Feeling anxious and depressed

[Matt_S]

Feeling anxious and depressed in work today wife and I are separated trying to work on both of our anxiety, and depression issues and she also has ADHD I have no contact with her for now because she said we can concentrate better on our issues I miss my wife and grandson and I want to abide by her wishes. Anxious, depressed and broken hearted here.

[Matt_S]

Try not to look in your past or the future A d try to live in the moment, the here and now

[FireflyLane]

If this is overstepping no need to answer, What is it like being in a relationship with another person that also struggles with anxiety and depression? I have thought about this but I just don’t know. I imagine it could be hard in some ways like maybe some things clash, but is it also helpful having someone to truly understand you?

[Matt_S in reply to FireflyLane]

Hi you are not overstepping, I’m glad to answer that we had a strong relationship for many years I have been with my wife for 33 years married for 21 years we had our ups and downs, she has stuck by me in my alcohol dependency and I was able to quit 25 years ago she literally picked me up, dusted me off, and pointed me in the right direction and for that I am forever great full to her, at the end of 2014 my wife got full custody of our grandson because her daughter, my step daughter was and is still all about herself, so it has been a little rocky at times, with raising a boy who has ptsd, anxiety and depression, but I have always loved him and still do like he is my own, that said he is 15 now and knows it all, he doesn’t listen and does what he wants my wife has therapy, behavioral, mentors, and peer to peer support for him, it’s hard to parent on the same page which causes conflicts between wife and I, and to say that I always thought I knew about my wife’s ADHD when I really had no idea of what she has to endure everyday with it, we fought about a lot of things, parenting,bills, housework, etc. I thought she was purposely slacking and I resented it, I became co dependent towards her, I always jumped in front of her trying to do for her always and I became burnt out, she took this as I was controlling her, and with the resentment that I held for her she took it as I didn’t love her, then she said we should split to work on ourselves so that we ca try together again, I have read a lot on ADHD and feel crushed that I could have treated her that way, I was ignorant and blind to her condition, the three of us are working on our mental health on a day to day basis along with meds, I love my wife and grandson more than anything in this world, to answer the question we did have a happy relationship, and I am working very hard to try to get it back to what we use to be. Thank you again for listening, it helps to get it out.

[FireflyLane in reply to Matt_S]

It sounds like you understand more of what was going on and are able to reflect and can use that toward your goal. 33 years is a long time. I am only 19 and have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, and I only hope to be able to celebrate 33 years someday. Just from reading I have hope for you that when you get it back, it’ll be an even stronger relationship than ever. I wish you luck. As for your 15 year old, I can say that even though it may be hard it is so good you guys are getting help for him, my parents were never much help regarding my illness. It must be a really hard thing to have to take a step back and work on yourselves and correct your wrongdoings but it seems to be for the best. Thanks for your response and I wish you well.

[Matt_S in reply to FireflyLane]

Thank you for your kind words, and I will remember what you said, and five years for you is a long time also when you think about it, I hope I answered your question, and I wish you the best of luck moving through these times, and remember everyone on here has a story , and they all want to help the next person. Stay well

[Matt_S]

Very good now you can check that off of your list, now that’s how to do it, good job