Hi Everyone.
I’m a 61 year old man, living with my dog, in southern England. I am a late diagnosed Asperger sufferer. I also have Osteoporosis, Gastric Reflux disease, and three years ago, I had two stents fitted, to unblock the main artery to my heart. My heart was ok though.. My main problem is General Anxiety Disorder, and Depression. Until the Covid started a year ago, I was able to maintain some balance. I was walking three miles a day, and I had the anxiety under control. That has all changed gradually over the last twelve months. Previously to that, I would have have a really bad panic attack, two or three times a year. Lately it has risen to three times a week. My Room 101, is anything to do with illness, medical procedures, hospitals, doctors, etc. Obviously Covid has petrified me. I have only been out four times in the last year. That is to get my meds.. I couldn’t go out due to panic last week. My brother had to get them for me. When he brought them round, he persuaded me to go for a socially distanced walk. It was only for 20 minutes, but I felt the best that I have done for ages.. Unfortunately the following day, the anxiety/panic returned.. I can’t give a reason for what caused it. I had a telephone chat with a local charity, that was recommended to me by Solent Mind. That helped for a little while, but I had a restless night, and woke up feeling stressed. I would say that normally my anxiety starts small, in the morning, and builds up during the day. It’s normally worst at night. I have always had a reputation within my family, and with friends, of being a hypochondriac. But when I am having one of my bad days, I can actually feel pain. I have back pain from osteoporosis, and chest pain from the Gastric reflux. My fear is having a heart attack.. The anxiety causes my heart to race, and I think that it also causes me to tense my muscles, and to shake a little as well. I have lost the major part of my fitness due to a year indoors, so my heart also races, when I do any housework. This frightens me, and I stop what I’m doing. (The flat is a mess, I really feel unable to do anything about it) I really don’t know what to do to get myself back to normal. My brother tells me to ask my GP for help, but since Covid, she hasn’t been as helpful as she was previously. It also takes a month to get a ten minute phone appointment. What I would really like is an appointment with a cardiologist, to discuss my heart. If he could check me out, then that would help to calm my fears. There is little chance of this happening at the moment. The hospital is almost overwhelmed with Covid patients. The only way I’ll be going there is if I’m forced to call an ambulance for extreme chest pain. I’ll only do this under extreme circumstances. I’m so scared of catching Covid. I’m also super worried about my dog. Who would care for him? My brother can’t, and there is nobody else. I have no money for kennels etc. I really don’t know what to do.. Thank you anyone who has lasted this far. I know that I can rabbit on. All the best, Chris.