to do or not to do...

[lindamine]

I have not worked in almost 2 years due to my job being shut down. I have since not returned to work and at this point I don't even know if I can. I believe I am eligible for disability (psychiatrist rec) but I am so afraid to fall into that lifestyle. I want to work but don't know if I could hold it up. My husband just died a few months ago and money is really tight. I am traumatized from that as he was an alcoholic and he died right in my arms from a heart attack. I don't think I could keep it together and hold down a job. I am just wondering if any of you are on disability? Was it hard to get, do you like your life now? I'm worried it will make me go backwards in any recovery I've worked for. That I'll become complacent with life. Has this happened to anyone or what are your experiences with it?

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I am so very sorry for your loss.

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Wow! I am so sorry to hear about your husband. It is something I deal with my husband as he is disabled. He is not on disability because it would not support our family. He is working from home thankfully. Hopefully he can retire in a few years but his retirement won't be enough to live on either. We have 6 kids with 4 still in the home. I will have to go back to work most likely. We are working towards paying off all the bills hoping that will help. Fear is a lier. Don't let it control you. I hate applying for jobs as I feel rejected when I don't get it. Like "whats wrong with me now or this time." I can be my own worst enemy. Have courage even though we are afraid. Know that they are just people too. They have their own problems...just like we do. Thankfully they won't throw tomatoes at us or anything. The most you will get is no thank you. Dont let your mind over think this. You can do it! Take a baby step...just today: make a phone call. Tomorrow: make two phone calls. Apply for a job and see if you get an interview. Don't get ahead of yourself. Take it nice and slow . You can only do today. Words of wisdom: how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

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I’m sorry you lost your husband, sounds like you had a good relationship even though he was an alcoholic. I’ve heard it takes at least a year maybe longer to get disability. I’m just curious why you don’t want to work since that might help you., at least that’s what I’ve heard.