Anxiety on high

[LNews]

About 5 days ago, my father suffered a stroke. I was able to call emergency dispatch minutes after his stroke began. It was very stressful, but everything turned out fine. I began to realize that I'm stressing over things that never caused me stress before. I'm also beginning to act very protective of my parents. I don't want to go to work because I'm afraid something might happen. I feel like I need to be able to help my parents on short notice. I know this has something to do with my Dad and his stroke. He's at home and is beginning his therapy soon because his speech has been affected by this episode. I'm soo afraid and it's overwhelming. Is there any advice on managing anxiety under stressful family situations?

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer]

Hi LNews. Is there anyone besides you and your Mom (assuming she is able to assist) who can help with the caregiving for your dad? Going to your job might actually give you a break you need from what’s happening at home, and the income can’t hurt. Your feelings are very understandable. This is an extremely difficult situation and it’s important that you don’t take it all on by yourself. Burning yourself out isn’t going to help your Dad, you, or anyone.....

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Hi LNews, I think Catsamaze has great advice. A caregiver support group may be a great resource for you to look into as well. Good luck.

[SirGrits]

In general I agree with the other posters. From your wording in the post it seems like you've been a little traumatized by your Dad's stroke. A. That's ok, it just means you care B. Like the others said, you don't have to carry that rock alone.I don't think recovering from trauma is necessarily the same as grief, it might be. Maybe you can get a consult somewhere to answer that question.

Prayers LNews

[13ga]

hi Lnews....

Catsamaze had awesome advice as did other replies....

i would offer these thoughts...

having older parents is no different than having kids... we cannot protect them all the time... we need very much to live our own lives... we can NOT live our lives for someone else... that doesn't mean you don't care for them - of course you do - but you need to have a life outside of them - so that you can be healthy both in mind and body - and that you need to do for YOU and THEM - because being healthy will make you the best care-giver you can be. and this also helps keep you from getting burnt out. this is most common issue w/ caregivers...

also - having your own life - and your own support system - outside of your family is also critical. let's talk about a hard truth. your parents wont be around forever - and if you're whole life is wrapped up in taking care of them - on that day when they move on - you could have an epic crash of reality - if you don't have a life outside, and support from others - well that could be some seriously dark days. you need to protect yourself and be healthy for you AND them.

...

as far as needing to help your dad on short notice - assuming your mom can help out at least a little - then hopefully you're need to leave work would be minimized - and also hopefully you have an understanding and compassionate employer.... if you don't - you may want to consider new employment... but obviously there are many other considerations i know nothing about... so you need to consider all the benefits and risks with any move like that...

also - making any major life decisions during a time of increased stress, is usually not the best time - unless you have no other choice...

...

now as for managing stress and anxiety... there are 2 number 1 top things you can do to help yourself:

1a) exercise - regular exercise is BETTER than most anti-depressants; and has countless other benefits you can't get from drugs.

1b) meditation - the other number 1 top thing you can do to help w/ stress, anxiety, sleeping issues, and MANY other things... there are tons of vids on youtube - and i posted a 'how-to' here as well: healthunlocked.com/anxiety-...

2) positive mental attitude and awareness. think positively - look for positivity - even in negative events. (ie: almost all people that have had cancer - look upon the cancer as a wake-up call for living the rest of their life. i'll bet your dad will have a similar viewpoint once he's far enough along the road to recovery.)

3) don't be afraid to ask for help. and talk about what's going on. a burden shared - is a burden halved !!!!