Making myself ill

[Secret4706]

I suffer from extreme health anxiety. I've been referred to a specialist regarding a health issue and even tho I pushed for it I feel absolutely 1000000% worse since the dr said she would refer me. I do not eat or sleep which I know makes it worse but I cannot stomach anything. I can barely swallow water. I cannot stop worrying and freaking out. Spend my days crying just dreading every second. I can't seem to switch off or not think about it. I just can't take anymore.

[Hidden]

Hi

You will find many of us suffering from HA on here and we know how it feels and how it makes us so ill

So the fear sends us to the Doctors

They at first tell us they are not concerned and we go away

Then once home we start to worry again so we go back again and then after a few times of going because Doctors have a Duty of Care we leave them with the last option of having to say the dreaded words we fear " I will refer you "

Then of course even though we have pushed them to that choice we are convinced the worse scenario is on it's way !

This is typical of what we do but remember we do push for it and tell yourself that is the reason you are now going and the chances are that they will find nothing wrong

Have you had any Counselling or anything similar for your HA ?

I would push for that next even if you have tried it before and not sure if you take any medications but that maybe something else you could think about trying

You will be ok , you will get through this , at the moment your anxiety has taken control when we get to this stage we have to try and reverse our thinking to get it back ( not easy ) but try and rationalize these thoughts that have got out of control and hopefully finding others knowing you are not alone I have made myself just as ill through the years but it can be a relief even though we would not wish this on anyone to know there are others to going through the same thing x

[Secret4706 in reply to Hidden]

Aw thank you for replying I wish I could be positive and strong x

[Hidden in reply to Secret4706]

Hello

My reply may have sounded positive but believe me I am not behind closed doors but I keep trying and pushing to get help

I hope you may think about trying to get some support it will help you x

[Secret4706 in reply to Hidden]

Hi thanks for another reply. I'm the annoying kind of person who thinks nothing will help which doesn't help either does it! X

[Hidden in reply to Secret4706]

Hello

Well you are not on your own quite a few of us do think that way but I have a saying now which is

Give it a go because what have you to loose , you won't be any worse of but who knows you might be better of either way you have nothing to loose x

[Secret4706 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks again x

[Hidden in reply to Secret4706]

It's ok that is what these Communities are here for so like minded people can talk and try and support each other as unless you suffer with Mental Health even Doctors don't get just how much it can affect you x

[Secret4706 in reply to Hidden]

Never thought I could get any lower than I was but I was wrong x

[Hidden in reply to Secret4706]

I know , I have stopped thinking that as when I have I have ended up getting lower I have Health Anxiety and so am not coping with the covid and I ended up having a heart attack 11 weeks ago , now I am so not coping and my anxiety after suffering years with it has gone to a place I never thought it could do ! x

[Secret4706 in reply to Hidden]

Ah I'm sorry to hear that! Hope you are on the mend xx

[Hidden in reply to Secret4706]

Thank You , it is slow but it is what it has done to me mentally that is the worse I am trying to deal with , the fear never leaves me alone x

[Secret4706 in reply to Hidden]

It's awful isn't it. X

[Hidden in reply to Secret4706]

Yes but a day at a time we can do this x

[FearIsALiar]

I have health anxiety as well.

I want you to know that the more you don’t eat or drink then that definitely will cause a lot more harm. You also should be getting 8 hours of sleep. If you do not eat or sleep then your anxiety will rise. That isn’t good for your mental or physical health.

[Secret4706 in reply to FearIsALiar]

Thanks I just wish I could do it! So frustrating

[FearIsALiar in reply to Secret4706]

The thing is you CAN do it. You just don’t believe in yourself

[Secret4706 in reply to FearIsALiar]

I just think things are a lot easier said than done unfortunately. But I thank you for replying and wish you well

[FearIsALiar in reply to Secret4706]

Oh trust me, I know! Definitely easier said than done but take baby steps to work your way up. Are you afraid of eating if so, why?

[Secret4706 in reply to FearIsALiar]

Wouldn't say I'm afraid to eat its more so I get stuck in my circle of shit as I like to call it.... So I feel sick (as in nauseous) so I can't eat because I feel sick but then I start to feel sick because I haven't eaten... So I get stuck in a routine of I feel sick cos I can't eat but I can't eat because I feel sick. Then ill get really bad migraines and insomnia all knowing its brought on by not eating but I still can't eat even tho I can feel what it's doing to me. But then if i force myself to eat ill vomit because I feel sick so I normally have to try and fill myself up with water to try and get something on my stomach. Or if someone reminds me I need to eat or comments I don't eat or haven't ate anything it makes me anxious that people are noticing and worrying about me. I don't know if that's a sort of eating disorder or not?

[JW621]

Set some boundaries for yourself. Set a goal. Start a journal. Write these thoughts down when you feeling the worse. Tackle things one at a time. There’s has to be something your grateful for?

[Secret4706 in reply to JW621]

Plenty to be grateful for its just exhausting living this daily